Maybe I should write these entries in the morning because I often sit to write once my kids are in bed and by then the entire day’s tiredness is on me and I am considerably whinier than usual. Today was one of those days where I could do one of a million things but I didn’t have to do anything so you know what? Nothing got done. Bad girl. I exercised, read to David, and worked. That’s pretty much it. Oh and I sketched. I wrote in my art journal. And I am hoping to do a bit of journaling and my portrait after this. But honestly, I spent quite a bit of time pouting and dozing off. I needed to be more organized but I felt tired and out of it. Alas, tomorrow is another day. Thankfully.
The little boy refused to nap again. I put him down three times before he finally passed out.
He played a bunch, went through my wallet, and tried to get me to put David’s new music DVD into my laptop..
He would stick it in the slot and then be shocked when the DVD disappeared into the computer. He’d ask me to take it out and then we’d do the whole thing over again. IT was fun the first two times but got kind of old quickly.
Thanks to Julie I’ve begun a new style of art journaling in the beginning of february and I am loving it so far. It’s pages like Judy Wise and Julie where I write a little each day and then do art and stamping and watercolor and just have fun throughout the day. I am really loving it so far.
After I woke Nathaniel up (and he had several meltdowns) it was time to get the big boy. Who came home, did his chores and went right down to the business of playing.
And then Daddy came home and we all rejoiced.
I’ve been struggling with some decisions lately. And through it all I was thinking that sometimes there’s a disagreement, or argument, or something much much subtler that goes on between two people. An interaction that just leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. You can’t even describe why but you know there’s just something there. Time passes, it dims. But it doesn’t go away. And now you’re suspicious. All of this person’s future actions, words, etc pass through this filter in your mind. You can never be fully open and free of assumption around this person again. You start seeing things when there isn’t anything to see and then grow resentful and frustrated even though the other person didn’t really do anything at all. It all just goes back to the interaction (now long ago) that planted a seed way back then. And finally, you accept that it will never be the same. You either have to really have a talk with this person or you have to walk away. In my case, I cannot talk to the person, because my relationship is not at that level. So I see myself slowly pulling away. It makes me a bit sad. And I feel a strong pull to call this person up and explain and demand apologies and hash it and rehash it. But of course it’s all senseless. The person probably doesn’t even remember and is doing nothing different from the ordinary. But in my head it’s a big story now and I cannot let it go. So I am moving away from it. It feels like my only option right now. But it still makes me sad.
And to be fair, it’s a small, small thing in the grand scheme of my life. I am lucky, healthy, blesses and so so so grateful. I am deeply grateful for each and every moment in my life.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for the opportunity to join the Maya Road team. I am so humbled and overjoyed and thrilled to be a part of that team.
2. I am grateful for all the students in my Embrace Imperfection class. There’s so much support and sharing and kindness there.
3. I am grateful for the time and space to journal tonight. I cannot wait to cuddle up and write.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I got to watch the star wars game with daddy {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that Daddy came home early
3. I am grateful for mommy
Today started great. I woke up, got David on the bus and exercised right away because I was due at his school exactly 50 minutes later. We went, came back, got stuff done, Nathaniel napped, I worked. I had a breakdown in the middle of the day and worked myself into a tizzy and then thanks to some amazingly kind people it resolved itself just fine but I still have the headache to remind me I need to stop doing this.
Big boy was a dear as he always is.
And I realized that we never showed you the valentines he made for his class. Here’s the outside.
Each girl got a stamped flower which David colored.
and each boy got this stamp which David also colored.
The little boy is watching Thomas on the ipod.
And then sneaking a look at me for a split second. Well not at me but at least looking up.
I did a sketch today. It’s got a long way to go but it was fun and I am glad I did it. I still have to do my portrait and I have to write in my art journal. but overall I am still marking this day down as a good one. Any day we’re all healthy is a good one in my book.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my friend Katie listened to me rant for a good thirty minutes about something relatively stupid and she didn’t blame me once. She listened, she supported and she was wonderful. Thank you Katie, love you!
2. I am grateful that my husband also supported me magically today and rushed right back out so we could make it to the post office on time. He didn’t question me or call me crazy (which I am) but he loves me and I am so thankful for that.
3. I am grateful for the kindness of a semi-stranger today. Someone whom I don’t know and she had no reason to be this nice to me but she, too, didn’t call me crazy or capricious. She worked with me and tried to make me happy. I am truly grateful.
4. I am also grateful for the few minutes of Skype I got to do with my sister so I could wish her a happy birthday. She had no internet today so she hasn’t seen my note to her yet but I still got to see her, however briefly. I love her so.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it’s Valentine’s Day (he had a lot of candy at school!) {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that Daddy watched a movie with me
3. I am grateful that we ate dinner out (goat cheese sandwich for david!)
Today is my sister Yona’s 40th birthday. I am so sorry that I cannot be there to give her a huge hug and be there to celebrate with her. So I wanted to make her a list of 40 reasons why I love her so much. They are not in any order and I can easily think of hundreds more so this is just a tiny subset of the world of reasons I am thankful she’s my sister. She’s amazing and I am truly lucky to have her in my life.
40 Reasons Why I love you so:
- I love that you taught my kids how to blow kisses and catch them
- I love that you save all your boys’ toys so mine can play with them, too
- I love that you spend hours playing with my sons, even over the internet
- I love that you cook us delicious meals when you visit!
- I love that you are always honest with me
- I love that you never forget any of my special occasions, you always check in, follow up and you never ever make me feel alone.
- I love that you taught me how to read. The best present I got in my life.
- I love that you always tell me how proud you are of me.
- I love that you read my blog. You even comment!
- I love that you are dedicated to making sure our kids are close to each other and we are close to each other’s kids.
- I love that you are always patient with me.
- I love that you do not judge me because I am so different and you love me just the way I am.
- I love that you inspire me so much with your self-confidence.
- I love that you are always so genuine and I can feel your love so deeply.
- I love that you call my husband your brother. He loves you so!
- I love that you listen to me complain about the same worries for hours and always reassure me.
- I love that you are so organized and work so well with mom, I am amazed and inspired by everything you two have accomplished.
- I love that you make sure your kids know the importance of education and studying. You’ve probably done more homework with them than when you were a kid!
- I love that you always believe in me.
- I love that each time I visualize your face, you always have such a big smile that it travels all the way to your eyes. Just thinking of you makes me happy.
- I love that you are patient and kind to mom and dad and me.
- I love that even though you always say you can’t think of good ideas, you’re the one who came up with all the amazing ideas like roses with sentiments to mom and dad, the videotape for dad, the site for mom, etc.
- I love that besides reading, you also gave me my second all-time-favorite present, the book. I cherish, love and adore that book you gave me even though it makes me cry every single time.
- I love that you support my scrapbooking and always encourage me.
- I love that you save and collect and beg for scraps of fabric just so you can get them for me. You are so kind and generous and loving.
- I love that when I asked you for some trinkets and beads, you did your typical Yona thing and ended up buying me drawers full of amazing things and sent me a huge box. You love to spoil me.
- I love that you taught everyone in your family the love of skiing so it’s something you can all do together now. You’ve always been so good at sports. (Unlike your little sister.)
- I love that you love taking pictures almost as much as I do.
- I love that you always, always look out for me.
- I love that you make sure I don’t miss anything even though I am so far away. You always send me videos, copies of presentations, family events, and make a point of making me feel included.
- I love that you and I can spend an entire day just talking.
- I love that you are your own person. You have taught me to be stronger.
- I love that you like learning and taking lessons just like me. Languages, candle making. I so wish we could take them together.
- I love that you took the time to come visit me so we could spend some time together just you and me. You’re always amazing like that.
- I love that you’ve always been by my side. All the cards and letters you sent me when you were away and then when I was away and all the emails and Skypes now. Even though we’ve spent more moments apart than together, I haven’t felt your absence once.
- I love that you are such an amazing mom. From the very first moment, you were comfortable with being pregnant and then raising twin boys. You always showed me that it is not as scary as I worried it would be. You have two amazing sons and that’s due, in large part, to their amazing mom.
- I love that you always put your family first.
- I love that you never forget to do what’s right. Invitations, obligations, thank yous. You’re so much better than anyone I know.
- I love that you and I will be sisters forever. I am so thankful.
- I love you so much canim ablacim. You are my role model, my solid, strong, confident sister thanks to whom I will never ever feel alone in the world. I am so thankful to have you and I love you so so so much. I am so sorry I am not there with you right now but my heart is with you, always.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONA!!! I LOVE YOU!
Taking photos every day is inconsistent. Some days life is too busy for any photos, other days we get too many. Today’s one of those too many photos kind of days. We started with the family shoot. Which always starts smoothly.
Then Nathaniel starts wiggling like you’re choking him.
Then the tickling begins.
Daddy sneaking in a kiss while the boys are doubling over from laughter.
More shrieking and more laughter.
And Nathaniel is about to fly out of my lap.
David actually did fly of Daddy’s lap and smacked right on the floor. Then there was the grabbing of the clicker because both David and Nathaniel covet it. So there you go, it’s amazing we get any decent shots amidst the chaos.
After the shoot, I exercised, read to David and we put Nathaniel down after he and Jake went to get David’s cake. While he napped, David played with his legos.
I should correct that to say while he did not nap because Nathaniel didn’t actually take his nap today. He lay there, wide awake. So I finally gave up and he played quietly in the living room until it was time to go.
David played quietly too. So I rested and read a bit.
Then it was time to go to the gym for David’s birthday party. He had been there last year, too so he knew exactly what to expect.
And made sure to make the most of every moment.
Nathaniel ate some snacks and watched quietly.
Amazingly this was the only cake photo I was able to snap before David blew out all the candles and got down to eating. This year, I didn’t get any good “David and cake” photos at all. Oh well, some years are like that.
After the party, we came home and both of the kids were excited to open David’s presents.
Dinner, bath time, some playing and it was the end of our long and eventful day. Another day to add to the list of gratitude and blissful moments to hold on to forever. I love you so much, my son, happy happy birthday.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we were able to have a small but wonderful party for our boy and that he truly enjoyed it very much.
2. I am grateful that I got a lot more rest than I’d anticipated today so it all went more smoothly than I thought it might.
3. I am grateful that I get to do some art and have some quiet time tonight. I love having it every day but especially on days like this when there’s been a bunch of noise (no matter how wonderful) in my day.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I had my birthday party {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful for my new legos
3. I am grateful for mommy and daddy
I started the day with eating my frog which meant that the rest of the day was going to be great and then I exercised and then it was time for the Big Picture class chat. I am loving the energy in that class, btw and it was a wonderful chat!! Then I worked on my Soul Restoration work and did a lot of my homework. A ton of journaling which centered me and made me feel so much better. Right before the exercise was, of course, family shots.
Which were exceptionally challenging this time.
Then it was time to take David to a birthday party. It was closeby so we took a nice stroll to it but then when we got there, he got really really upset and scared of the Jedi who was the entertainment at the party. He immediately cried and refused so after ten minutes, we just walked back home. It was a really beautiful day so I just enjoyed the walk and tried to be happy to be with my child. Then it was time to go to our appointment and by the time we came back, the light was all gone. So I snapped one of the little boy.
And then asked his dad to hold him so I could snap another.
I wanted one of the big boy, too, but he had a bloody nose. He’s been picking it too much!!!
Tonight is the art part of the Soul Restoration homework, a bunch of comments in my class, some art journaling and if i am lucky maybe my portrait. Tomorrow is a hectic day so I will need some solid sleep, as well.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I journaled today. I love the feeling it gives me. I need to make it a priority.
2. I am grateful that I did my big frog work for the weekend. I feel so much better when that “dreaded” task is done.
3. I am grateful that I get to do some art tonight. I love love love getting to do art.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we started a new book {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful tomorrow’s my party
3. I am grateful for mommy
Today started hectic as I had a webinar early in the morning and then exercised and then did a layout and then it was time for work. It wasn’t until after I picked up and drove David to the doctor that I realized I hadn’t taken any photos. So I tried to snap some.
Little boy was eating his veggies.
Which he likes considerably more than the big boy.
But the big boy is better at smiling on cue.
Then we finished our book which took way too long to read and the kids played with their daddy while I relaxed. I have a lot of back pain lately so I feel wiped at the end of the day. And I still have a few important errands to finish tonight so I can’t just lie on the couch like I wish I could. I also have the art journaling, portrait, and Soul Restoration homework to do. Alas, all wonderful things to spend my time on so it could be much worse.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it’s the weekend. I really really need the rest.
2. I am grateful that I finished all my scrappy homework for this week so the weekend will all be art and no major deadlines.
3. I am grateful that while I have a long long list for this weekend, it’s all things I want to do and things I am grateful to get to do.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we finished our book {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I get to play wii tomorrow
3. I am grateful for mommy
Nathaniel’s getting better and better at rummaging through stuff and expressing himself. I love this in general but it’s hard on some of the longer, tiring days.
I wanted to get some nice shots of David but he wouldn’t let me.
And then he gave me that sneaky smile. The one I love.
Nathaniel wasn’t happy I got between him and Thomas.
And got wildly dramatic so I just walked away and let him have it.
I have really strong allergies (or a cold) so I’ve had nonstop headache for two days in a row now. It’s no fun. What is fun though is that my class started and it’s wonderful! I love love love it.
Tonight’s plan is book club! So I need to get my stuff together quickly so that I can go and come back and go right to bed. I need all the sleep I can get lately since I am not all that well.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my class is finally open. I’ve been waiting for it for so long.
2. I am grateful that it’s one more day and I get to rest some. Even though the weekend is a bit more hectic than usual, I love the rest.
3. I am grateful that we have book club tonight. I am dreading it a bit at the moment but I know I will love it when I go.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that in two days I have my birthday party {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I made a chain of hearts in art class
3. I am grateful that i got creature power at school (dragon fly).
You know how there are some days that just get away from you and at the end of the day you wonder where it all went? That’s how today is for me. It started really productive and then just disappeared into air. I can’t remember where all the hours went and now I am left with that empty feeling you get when days like this happen. It’s okay. This, too, shall pass.
Here’s a photo of the big boy putting together his birthday present.
and wearing his crown that he made at school on Monday.
And the little one, not looking at me.
But yet looking out the window. Anywhere but the camera.
I learned another lesson in being careful today. My first instinct is to always say yes and to help out anyone in any way I can. So today I found myself in a situation where I said yes to something and then immediately regretted it. I know from past experience that this immediate regret is a sign I should have never agreed. Normally, I’d suck it up because I like to have high integrity and stay true to my word but this particular instance, I backed out. It hasn’t resolved itself yet so I am not sure how it will work out but I can tell you that the minute I sent the email I felt 100% better. Another sign that it was the right thing to do. I hope that the other party does not resent me forever and it resolves itself smoothly but it’s yet another lesson for me that I need to curb the instinct. I need to let things simmer and not respond right away to anything so that I can make sure it feels right and so I never have to go back on my word ever. It’s terrible to disappoint others. Especially for me. And I hope that it will resolve ok. (As I type this, it resolved itself and it was a wonderfully kind and positive outcome. I feel even better for having done what feels right in my gut even if it meant backing out.)
Tonight’s plan is to do a portrait, art journal a bit and then journal a bunch. And rest. I think my soul and heart are a bit broken from today’s experience so I need to let myself rest and heal.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I had the courage to back out of a situation that didn’t sit well with me.
2. I am grateful that I made another layout this morning. It’s definitely taking a while to get back into the rhythm but I love telling our stories.
3. I am grateful that I am learning to be gentle with myself, especially on days like this.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I’m six {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that we wrote on different kinds of paper at school today (they’re learning about paper and where it comes from, etc.).
3. I am grateful that i put my lego present together.
My big boy turned SIX today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!
He started his birthday by waking up at 4am and coming in to my room to tell me he had a bloody nose. We cleaned it up and got him back to bed but I couldn’t fall asleep. So I just lay there until it was time to get up. Jake was taking the morning off so that we could celebrate so we all got dressed and went to the local pancake house.
The kids colored while waiting for mickey pancakes.
Nathaniel imitated his brother of course.
My three boys. They are truly my favorite people in the universe.
I completely forgot to take photos when the pancake came with the candle but we had a great time. We then went to David’s school where Nathaniel went right to the books.
Jake read David’s book to the class. David chose “A Visitor for Bear” which was his favorite for a long while. It’s a book we used to read to Nathaniel together.
I tried to snap another shot of the boys but the birthday boy wasn’t accommodating!
The three of us then left and Jake went off to work while I struggled to wake up more. Once I did, I exercised and then listened to the new lessons for Soul Restoration. This one will require pages of journaling before I do the art. Then I worked a bunch as Nathaniel didn’t nap and then napped. We then went to collect David from the bus.
When David came home, he got his first present. Which was a lego set he really wanted. He was happy happy happy.
While David played wii (another birthday luxury), Nathaniel got to watch his Thomas on the ipod.
Which he is definitely grateful for.
And then it was the end of our day. I can’t believe I didn’t get a candle photo. I will have to make up for it on Sunday when we have his party. At bedtime, he did say that it was the best day ever. So overall I feel good about it. I scrapped a page today which was my first since leaving for CHA. I have about four more to do this week and then another set coming up next week. It felt good to be telling my stories again.
My free class starts on Thursday. I hope you’re signed up. Embrace Imperfection. It’s a small and fun class. I hope to see you there. I also have a webinar coming up for Masterful Scrapbook Design this week. It will be on titles. You know I love my titles.
I also have book club this week. And TMJ doctor. And David has his six year checkup. And we have a tax appointment. And David’s birthday. And I have my BPC class chat on Saturday. Oh, yes, it’s a full week here. Well I am off to draw my portrait. I hope you are all doing well and thank you for the kind comments on my art. It means so much to me to know that I am not alone in my thoughts, worries, personality. So much.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it was David’s birthday!!
2. I am grateful that I got to make a layout and do my art journal today.
3. I am grateful that I am feeling better. Nothing changed except my attitude.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it’s my birthday {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that mommy, daddy, and nathaniel came to school.
3. I am grateful that i played wii and got new legos.
So the good news is I did take today off. I woke up and decided it needed to be a personal day. And I spent most of the day doing not much. A little art journaling, some tiny journaling, some email replies, etc. The bad news is that it didn’t really have the desired effect. I don’t feel much better. (Though I do feel a little better.) But I did decide that it’s time to just snap out of it. If it won’t get better by itself, I will have to force my way through this annoying place.
I also completely forgot to take photos until the light was almost gone. So when I tried to snap a few before I gave Nathaniel his dinner, this is what I got.
David, of course, was a lot more accommodating. His very last picture as a 5 year old.
I tried a bunch more times with Nathaniel after giving him some blueberries. He’s looking to the side because Thomas was playing behind me and he’s looking around me to see it. Nice eh?
He wouldn’t stop eating long enough for me to take a photo.
One would think he never gets to eat. But alas, even when he looked right at me, it was while shoving some food in his mouth.
so I just gave up and let him eat in peace.
I’ve already done all of my night time stuff (drawing a portrait and writing some in my art journal) so tonight I think I might journal some more, pick a few books to read, watch some TV and go to bed really early. Tomorrow’s a big day for David.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I took the day off and didn’t chastise myself for not getting too much done.
2. I am grateful that we finished all of David’s class Valentine’s in one sitting. It was super quick and they turned out very cute.
3. I am grateful that I get to go to bed early tonight. A little extra sleep will do me good.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that tomorrow’s my birthday {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I get to play wii tomorrow.
3. I am grateful that i played a game on the computer tonight.
Today started calm and relaxed. I didn’t journal but I did do some work on my art journal and I printed all of January’s photos for scrappy pages. I haven’t made a layout in about ten days which is really long for me. But I have some commitments coming up so I wanted to have photos at hand. I then did my exercise and then the most important item on my todo list. So overall I was feeling good already. Then we took the family shots. (Look at Nathaniel enjoying his book.)
When Nathaniel woke up from his nap, we all got in the car to drive to Filoli Gardens but when we got there we found out that it was closed for a few more days. So we went to a nearby diner called Buck’s. I’d already changed my lens which is why Nathaniel looks like he was captured with a fisheye here.
Then we went to Elizabeth Gamble gardens in Palo Alto and Jake’s dad grabbed this of us. If Nathaniel didn’t look like he is about to pass out, it would be great.
I snapped a million flower photos and then took one of the little boy.
My inlaws with David.
And one with both the kids.
Then we came home and it was evening routine time. We were all wiped from the food and then walking in the sun. So the kids went to bed, Jake and his parents went out to dinner (and then airport) and I am lying on the couch, trying to decide if I will do more work. I think I will finish off a few more simple to do items and maybe journal a bit.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I finished the big todo list item on my list (my frog for the weekend).
2. I am grateful that tomorrow is completely obligation-free and I might even take it off work so i can really relax.
3. I am grateful that there’s Glee tonight!
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I went to Meme’s hotel {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I had some pancakes.
3. I am grateful that we went to the garden.
Most of the day is a blur today and to add to the crazy I didn’t accomplish anything on my personal list. I did go food shopping and we ordered David’s cake and of course I exercised and journaled too. But nothing else really. David got to play Wii early today because his grandparents were coming later in the day. And, of course, Nathaniel was sitting right next to him.
Then I set up the tripod to take some family shots.
It was super early so we had to use really high ISO and here’s a typical shot of everyone looking in a different direction.
This one is a bit better.
In the afternoon, David did some puzzles with his grandfather.
When we came back from the shopping trips, it was really late so I tried to snap a few more photos before I lost all the light. And Nathaniel smiled at me while I snapped.
David ran into the house and managed to bust his lip as he banged on the trash can (don’t ask….) so you can see that if you look closely (upper lip.)
We were supposed to go out tonight but I am completely wiped and the idea was so so overwhelming to me that I just decided we needed to stay at home. I needed to and I think Jake felt the same way. I am just going to relax and watch TV and make some book lists for myself and maybe work on my art journal a bit. I have to write something but I am not sure it’s possible to do it when i am this tired. Let’s see….
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we did a lot of the chores for the weekend and I ordered all the stuff I needed for David’s birthday.
2. I am grateful that we didn’t go out tonight and Jake was (as always) wonderful about it.
3. I am grateful that if I don’t get anything done tonight or even tomorrow, it will not be a problem. So I can really just relax.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I got new Legos {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I put legos together with Papi.
3. I am grateful that we ordered my birthday cake
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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