I excepted today to be stressful since the beta push was planned to happen today. The good news is that it all went through and appears to be ok so far. Jake came home really early today to help me and I really needed it. The little boy was a gem, too. He went exploring in the house.

And grabbed things out of drawers.

And looked at me when I said “No” so he could decide if I was serious. When he sees that I am, he puts it back.

David’s been a gem too.

I must say everyone in my family is so supportive and kind to me. I get very stressed often and need to really focus for moments and they are always understanding and kind and give me the space I need. They accept my apologies. They forgive me. They make me feel accepted and loved. And honestly, that’s what I’ve always sought in my life. I am also in a wonderful place with my parents and appreciate their kindness, generosity and wisdom, too. Just feeling a bit fragile today because I was so stressed that it spilled over and that always leaves me a bit spent. And then I step back and appreciate my life and loved ones in a different light.

I have a lot on my mind lately but haven’t been able to sit and think through it. Now that the beta is out I plan to make room for journaling and hope that it will help me. Guide me. All my classes are over now, too and maybe I need a little break but I do love the classes. So are you taking anything? Anything you love?

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful the Beta push is out. My first. And so far, so good.
2. I am grateful for Jake coming home early again and for the kindness of all of my family today.
3. I am grateful for a few quieter days. I plan to rest and refresh so I can have a resurge of excitement and productivity in the next few weeks.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that i got some candy {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that mommy read to me
3. I am grateful that I got a game for the phone

I appreciate all the kindness you’ve sent my way so so much. It seems ungrateful and mean to not feel great in light of the terrible things happening in the world. I am actively working on my mood and yelling at myself to snap out of it, regularly. I am still in quite a bit of pain on my back and my nerves but honestly, my life is amazing and I have nothing at all to feel bad about. So I need to snap snap snap out of it!

I spent most of today relaxing as well. I didn’t yell at myself or feel bad for most of it. I did do a huge backup and was able to get back 200 gigabytes on my computer. That’s how much excess stuff was sitting there. For five minutes, David dared touch his Didj and Nathaniel immediately shouted “me me me” and melted down until David gave it to him. So here they are, both playing.

I love how hard he focuses on it.

I guess he’s leaning from his brother.

Jake went to the city to meet up with his relatives for breakfast and I exercised and attempted to put the baby down. Who, of course didn’t nap. By the time he came back, we were ready for family photos.

But everyone seemed distracted and antsy today.

Until tickle-time of course.

And I am posting this one despite my huge nose and how much it’s making me feel terrible. I love the joy in the photo and that matters more.

Then it was time for the little boy to eat and try one more attempt to nap. I read for a bit, read to David, organized photos to print, and then worked a little on my art journal. The plans for tonight include printing photos (to scrap) and doing a little work and checking in my class and then maybe scrapping a bit before bedtime. Let’s see. I am feeling better emotionally. More rested and calmer. And yet I know the next three days will be a bit stressful. That’s ok though. They will come and they will go and life is wonderful.

I must also admit that my plans to sketch daily have completely gone out the window. I have had several people email me with their plans to make daily layouts and to exercise daily. I hope you ladies are doing better than I am!!

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for another quiet day of resting.
2. I am grateful for family photos. I love love love taking these photos and seeing them.
3. I am grateful for all the backup work I did today. Backing up is really important. Not fun but really important.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that mommy got me a game {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I got some candy
3. I am grateful that we played the dino math game for family night

I won’t lie to you. I seem to be struggling lately. A lot of back pain and sciatica. I am also regularly beating myself up emotionally. A lot of craziness going on. I know it will all calm down soon, it always does. Just wish I could figure out what’s triggering this recent bout. Alas, it shall pass.

I love watching David play. All the faces he makes.

And then this one face, too, of course.

And here’s the little boy so in love with his brother and enamored with his daddy. You should hear the shrieks when Daddy comes home. It warms my heart so much.

Ah, so ready for this weekend. I plan to spend most of it lying down, healing my back. Wish me luck. I hope yours is absolutely wonderful!

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a quick layout i finished this morning that I love
2. I am grateful for my health lately, despite the pain. I am watching all the suffering around the world and I am feeling so so so grateful for everything we have. Our safety and security and my loved ones. So deeply grateful.
3. I am grateful for the weekend. I need to rest this weekend and will make it a priority.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I get to spend time with daddy tonight {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I got extra choice time at school
3. I am grateful that my friend was back in school today

I woke up today, determined to be less grouchy, again. And I can tell you I am less grouchy but I am in quite a bit of pain for some reason. I feel sore all over and feel like all my muscles are black and blue. Work is also still at a pretty high tempo so I am trying to keep up with it all. Though I did exercise today, I didn’t manage to read to David. I will have to make up for it tomorrow.

I love love love that I caught this shot. Nathaniel does this often where he’ll look through the holes of his chair when he’s calling for me. Just two eyes peering out at me.

I love those eyes.

He’s eating saltine crackers and cream cheese. One of his favorite things ever.

And here’s David trying not to smile. Looks sort of a mix between sad and mad, doesn’t he?

but here he is a moment later. he wasn’t sad or mad.

I’ve already taken 3 advils and the pain is not any better in my jaw or back or head so I am thinking a little art journaling and I will crawl into bed early tonight. I hope you’re all well and march is treating you well so far.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that the bugs and crashes are looking better. Hooray!
2. I am grateful for a nice chat with my mom today. She’s been ill and I am so thankful to skype and getting to see her.
3. I am grateful for my hubby. i love him so. he’s patient, kind, loving and such a true joy to have in my life.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I built a playground for patty (their leprechaun) {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I got a new game on the phone
3. I am grateful that i was allowed to play a bit extra today

I tried to get some photos of the little boy but he would not accomodate me.

Nor would the big boy.

But then I caught a few good ones of Nathaniel while David played.

I especially like this one.

Nothing amazing going on here. I am exercising, volunteering in David’s class, working, and trying to keep things afloat here. I am not sketching or even doing my art journal really. I am moody. I am grouchy. I have no reason to be. Yet I am. Can’t seem to snap out of it. But you know what? Tomorrow is another day. Things have been quiet here lately too. I hope you’re all ok.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I got a bunch of happy mail this week.
2. I am grateful for a quick shopping trip to Anthropologie.
3. I am grateful that even though I dropped it on the ground, my phone did not break!

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I made a chart of people who like to play games {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played with Julian during lunch
3. I am grateful that i got play time on the phone

I had very few things on my todo list today. And as is typical with such days, I got none of it done! I did my exercise, read to David, sketched, and began a mixed media piece but I am not even feeling like finishing it. Oh and we took family shot, too, of course. Right as I was setting up, David said “Mommy take a picture of us.” So I did.

Then he wanted Nathaniel on his lap so Daddy helped him with that.

And when it was time for me to sit, he took them both on his lap so David could continue to have Nathaniel on his lap.

I love Nathaniel’s sneaky happy face here. He’s got the remote and he’s enjoying it.

All of us are fascinated by the remote clicker.

After photos, Jake went to his office, I went to exercise and David was playing Wii. Halfway through, he decided he’d rather play on the phone instead.

When I tried to snap one more photo, I was met with this stare. So I stopped.

Tonight I feel up to doing nothing. Maybe it’s a sign I need to rest. Some days are like this. I am hoping this is a sign tomorrow will be considerably more productive.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that even though I didn’t finish much this weekend so far, I am not behind in anything so I don’t really need to stress.
2. I am grateful Jake went grocery shopping. I love having fresh fruit at home.
3. I am grateful for a relaxing day with my boys. I love love love my boys.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I got to a new level in my game {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I had some apple juice
3. I am grateful that i get to stay up tonight