I honestly cannot even remember this morning. I took David to the bus, came home and then rushed back out to the TMJ doctor. Then I came back and did work, put Nathaniel down, exercised, did work. Nothing interesting.

I got my third lesson for Soul Restoration and I have to say each week I’ve been trying to play with paint, do textures etc but I always end up scrapping those. I dislike what I did. I feel inadequate like it’s a mishmash of crap. I cannot seem to turn off the conversations in my head. Which is why I go back to fabric or paper. Seems safer, less messy, harder to screw up. I look at her painting (and others’) with awe and wish I could do it too. And yet, I seem to be missing that gene.

The little boy spent some time looking through my soul restoration journal today.

I think he liked what he saw.

Then he played with his beloved stickers.

And let me take a nice photo.

So did David, one nice one…

Before all the crazy, silly, fun ones.

Tonight’s a lot of journaling. I find the journaling is really, really helping me so I am going to do more and more of it until it becomes more second nature, more something I’m making the time for. And then if I have time leftover, I will do my soul restoration art work.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I am taking the time to journal and do my homework. I am learning a lot about myself and really appreciating these classes so much.
2. I am grateful that I am finally seeing a doctor about my TMJ and getting some help and things are improving. Really grateful for that.
3. I am grateful for the quiet week I’m having. This week is low on commitment and engagements. It’s giving me time to rest and recuperate.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I got stamp with a dog on it at school {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played on the phone.
3. I am grateful that wilfin gave me a pencil

I started the morning by preparing my February newsletter and digital downloads. Here’s where I tell you once again, you can sign up for my newsletter on the right side of my blog. You get one email on the first of the month with exclusive free downloads. That’s it.

While I worked, Nathaniel played with a recent obsession. This monitor isn’t hooked up on the other side which means when you turn it on, it just beeps. nonstop. Makes you want to cry pretty much immediately. But, alas, the little boy loves it. Ugh.

Then I setup our family shoot. Which I tested and went through all of these. Me with the clicker, Nathaniel wanting it, and going all drama when he can’t have it and finally grabbing it and happy. Yep, happens each time.

Then started the family fun.

A ton of laughter.

I love these shots.

Then Jake went biking with David (which didn’t go so well).

And Nathaniel was very upset about being left behind.

David’s school is having 100th day on February 2nd and we’re supposed to do a collection. David suggested we punch butterflies. So we did and it turned out quite wonderful.

And when Jake came back home, he played with Nathaniel and the stickers while I scrapped.

After I was done, we had family night where we played a dino math board game. It was a lot of fun despite Nathaniel’s multiple breakdowns. And then the kids went to bed and I did some drawing and photo processing. The plan for tonight is more drawing and then replying to emails cause I still haven’t done that. I am pathetic, I know.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it was a calming and productive weekend. A lot of revelations. Some art. Some scrapping. A lot of family time and exercising and reading. Just perfect. Especially since the next three weekends promise to be too hectic.
2. I am grateful for family night. I always have so much fun and enjoy my family so much.
3. I am grateful for a short week this week. I will try to work extra hard because I am leaving for LA on Friday and I want to get a ton of work done before I leave.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that mommy got some new games for the phone {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful for family night.
3. I am grateful that we did the butterflies.

I saw this in the shifting ground classroom today and it resonated so much with me. Worrying is definitely something I do too much of and I could not agree with this quote more so it needs to be upfront and center in my life.

Today was all about rest. And finishing touches. I added a few more touches to one of my layouts. I took photos. I finished up an art journaling page which was also homework for Soul Restoration. I watched a lot of TV and relaxed a lot. As well as working, taking David to school and back and taking Nathaniel to the dentist. But those are just part of a day.

We were all quiet and playing today in our own way.

I love how he surrounds himself with toys and then plays with each.

And I love this shot of David. He looks so wonderful, as he is.

And I really love how Nathaniel snuggles next to him at each opportunity. I love watching them sit together. I love seeing Nathaniel’s feet. I love how his fingers are inside the lego holes. I love how engrossed David is in reading. I love these boys so so much..

Tonight is all about more resting. Lots of journaling. Setting up newsletter for February. If you’re not, make sure to subscribe. I am going to be making new digital downloads this weekend. Any requests?

My plan is to catch up to all my homework this weekend. Draw faces. Journal. Make truth cards. Maybe even paint some. Let’s see how far I get. I might even scrap a page or two but just for me. I will likely print photos, too, so I am ready for more scrapping.

Oh, and, thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement for the running. Today was a much better day. I was able to go all the way without so much pain. I even felt like I could have gone longer if I needed to. That was certainly a good feeling because I worried I might never feel ok again. So it’s good to know it wasn’t permanent. As with everything else, I imagine it’s constantly shifting and adjusting.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that it’s the weekend and I don’t have anything I have to do. I work better when I am organized so I will plan some thing for the weekend before I go to sleep but if I end up “wasting it all away” that’s going to be ok.
2. I am grateful that Nathaniel’s teeth seem to be in good shape so far. He was very upset at the appointment but the dentist looked at his teeth and we’re good so far.
3. I am grateful for all my classes. Despite being a bit overwhelmed I am finding each of them very very valuable and I am grateful that I will now have more time to dedicate to each.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I read books on raz-kids {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played pretend (house) at school.
3. I am grateful that I played lego batman at school.

I have to make a plan to get out and take some photos. I’ve really been even more like a hermit than usual partly cause I am doing so much CHA work. But alas, it’s almost over and now it’s even getting warmer here. Lest you think it’s always laughter and roses here, today Nathaniel decided not to take his nap until much later. Then I had to wake him up because otherwise he wouldn’t sleep at night. So he woke up super cranky. And looked like this.

And this.

And this. It went on for quite a while. We went and got David and he was still crying.

The first thing he did was get David’s water out of his lunchbag which he does every night.

I snapped some shots of David.

And he acted all silly as he likes to.

Nathaniel watched suspiciously.

Then finally he started playing again.

But all that crying had gotten to me already. I feel tired and exhausted. Extra tired tonight since all the whining, wailing, and crying tends to wear you down a bit. I’m sure the little boy had a headache and I feel bad for him. I gave him lots of hugs and tried to play with him but he just needed to be alone and get over being tired.

By bedtime, he was throwing himself on the couch and giggling alongside David, of course.

Now they’re both sleeping and I am ready for bed myself. I have some organizing to do, some homework and a portrait to draw. Then it’s bedtime for mommy, too.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a good day at work. I got some important things moving and I felt good about progress.
2. I am grateful for a kind offer from a good friend. I am always filled with gratitude at the generosity of others.
3. I am grateful that a lot of people have signed up for my classes at BPC already. I really, truly love teaching there so I am very excited to have both my classes coming up. If you’re enrolled in either of my classes, thank you for taking a class with me. I know both your money and time are important and I truly appreciate it deeply.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I did a project that compared sawdust and wood shavings at school {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played with mommy (we did workbooks)
3. I am grateful that I picked the people to invite to my birthday. I struggled a lot with this since we can’t invite the whole class (there’s a limit where the party will be) and so we had to pick some and not pick others. I told David to not talk about his party at all at school so as to not make anyone feel bad.

And here we are, already at the end of our long weekend. It’s 6pm which means I have this entry, a few more entries, a portrait, possibly some journaling and bedtime. And then it’s officially next week.

Our morning started with a trip to the dentist. Where David did awesome, as always. I took this with my phone.

I took another photo when we got home to show off his newly cleaned teeth.

Nathaniel made lots and lots of his expressive faces.

And laughter.

More faces. Oh uh.

Then he watched his brother play on the phone.

After nap time, it was time to take another family photo. As I set up, Jake ate some peanuts and, of course, Nathaniel wanted to be a part of that, too.

I cropped this out of one of family shots. He looked so wonderful.

There’s always much laughter when we do these shots. So we have a lot of outtakes.

and blurry shots.

Then, while I processed the photos, Nathaniel showed his dad some of his books.

And then spent some time looking through David’s notebooks.

While he played on the iphone.

I love this shot of both of them occupied and engrossed.

I spent most of the weekend doing homework and as of this morning I have a ton more (and even more is coming tomorrow). I decided I will have to come up with a schedule for all the homework I have in Misty’s class. I want to, scratch that, need to, spend more time drawing before I can move to painting. And same with painting. So once CHA comes and goes, I will spread it out. A month of just drawing, a month of painting, a month of collage, etc. Next month, I have the sketching class, too. Not to mention the two I’m teaching. Ugh. It looks like things will stay busy for a while.

Just the way I like it.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a quiet day. It was busy in the morning but I spent most of the middle of the day lying on the couch, watching misty paint. Can’t think of a better way to spend my day.
2. I am grateful that we took another set of family shots. We already have more photos of us than we did in all of 2010.
3. I am grateful that I made an appointment for Nathaniel at the dentist. I am a bit scared since it’s his first and we haven’t been so good about brushing his teeth but I am grateful to start taking care of it.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I played on mommy’s phone {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that mommy and I read together
3. I am grateful that I did my workbook.

I don’t want to start each of my entries with how tired I feel so I won’t tell you that today. But rest assured, I do. Anyhow… Despite the fact that it was a weekend, I spent my day with a very similar schedule to my weekdays. Except, instead of working, I lay on the couch and read all the content and watched all the movies for my classes.

While I scrapped, the little boy read some more books.

And reacted to each page.

While the big boy played with his legos.

Then Nathaniel went down for his nap, I read to David, I exercised and then showered and took the Christmas tree down and then set up the camera for our family photo. Here’s me doing a test run.

And another. I told Nathaniel there was a squirrel in the backyard to get him to look at the camera, hence the expression on his face.

Here’s an outtake from our shot. David looks like he’s hurting cause he was playing wii and focusing too much. He took a long break after this photo.

Then he and Jake went to Target while Nathaniel and I rested.

And I snapped some photos.

While he laughed.

and laughed at me.

and then he realized his brother was gone which meant he could mess with the remotes.

The boys came back, we all put everything away and had dinner and now they’re almost ready for bed.

I plan to do a lot of the homework in my classes tonight. I stopped doing portraits two days ago and plan to restart that tonight, too. I must admit that I am most behind misty’s class. It’s partly because there’s a lot of homework but mostly because I truly feel like I can’t draw. I try and it looks terrible and I get impatient. I know it’s practice but when it sucks so bad you don’t even want to practice. Several of you commented on doing more emotion or shading etc with my portraits. The thing is I feel like I am so far from the basics that I am not ready to add expressions, feelings, my style yet. I can’t even draw two eyes that look the same. I can’t make noses or lips I like. I am working on those for now. I work hard every day to quiet the voice inside me that yells “you’re not an artist” or “you’re no good at this.” Again, I know it’s a lot about practice but it’s hard to feel inspired to practice when I think so little of what I create. anyhow….so I put it off. Which, of course, doesn’t help at all.

So off I go to journal, draw my portraits and maybe do another few drawings from misty’s homework. And then journal more and make some cards for the soul restoration class. Long night but full of joyful work. Let’s see how far I get.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that the tree is down. I loved having it up but I also like it gone for some reason. I put some lights up so that I can still feel the joy.
2. I am grateful that I have only five layouts left to do for CHA. I like making them but I think I’m ready for a break.
3. I am grateful for some quiet time tonight. I have some jaw pain again and I look forward to curling up and being artsy and introspective for a while.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that i got some shirts for school {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played wii
3. I am grateful that I get to stay up and play in my room a little tonight