We had Nathaniel’s little birthday get together scheduled for 10am this morning so I exercised soon after I woke up and by the time I showered and got dressed, it was already time to go. David was in a good mood and playing with his brother. He put the hat on and told me to take a photo.

Then he put it on himself.

These are the looks Nathaniel gives me when he knows he’s doing something wrong and he’s been caught (he was putting stickers on the stool.).

And David asked me to take a photo of this, too.

Since the boys were all dressed up nice I asked Jake to take a photo of me with them. They didn’t really want to accomodate though so this is the best we got.

Last night I found this dress on sale at Anthropologie. It is a size two. TWO! I have never been a size two in my life.

Nathaniel was not in a good mood when we gave him his cake.

He didn’t care for the candlelight and didn’t understand why everyone was staring at him.

And gave us all a good “nooooo!”

He played until 11am or so when he started having continual meltdowns and I knew it was bedtime. So we put him down and brought everything back inside. I was in quite a lot of backpain (still am) so I rested and sketched and did a bit of art. David played Wii. When Nathaniel woke up, they both had lunch and then it was time to open presents. David was super frustrated with how long Nathaniel was taking and how patient he had to be.

But they both loved all the presents and Nathaniel played with them immediately when David went back to the wii.

A lovely fulfilling day. For the first time since I started my project I didn’t like either of the weeklong pages I made in my journal today. I’m ok with that however because I think I can likely turn them around when the week comes and if not i’ll deal with them. That’s the great thing about a project like this: it’s the sum of the parts that counts, not each part.

Plans for tonight are small. A little time with my love, the April check-in, a little journaling, and bed. Btw, the newsletter goes out tonight with new digital downloads so last chance to subscribe to make sure you get the May one.

I hope your Saturday was peaceful and joyful.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that our neighbors showed up for Nathaniel’s little cake time and it was so nice to see everyone with their kids.
2. I am grateful that I did some art, even if I am not 100% pleased with it.
3. I am grateful for my size two dress. The numbers on the scale might go up and down and I know Anthro clothes run a bit big but it’s amazing to fit into a size two of anything.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I had some of Nathaniel’s cake. {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played wii and did my workbook.
3. I am grateful that I rode my bike, played soccer and chess with daddy.

Well last night’s issue meant working and working and then having another sleepless night and getting right back to work this morning. But thankfully, it all went ok. At least appears to be so far. One can never be sure.

Little boy is obsessed with David’s Didj. Loves it and tries to play with it.

And I love him.

Even with the way he scratched his face. Especially with that. And all his little boy stuff. I adore him. So much. So deeply.

And this one, too. I adore him. Just looking at the photo makes me feel like hugging him.

I love how excited he gets when he’s telling me a story.

And how he smiles and laughs so much. I’m so blessed.

We tried to cajole the little one to come but he was playing didj and would not leave. Laughed at us a bit, though.

I did finally get him near the light. look at this boy. my boy. my angel.

While I worked in the afternoon, David drew pictures for him. Choo choo, Nathaniel requested.

I love how they are head to head.

And here’s David’s masterpiece. It’s so awesome!

I am completely wiped. From head to toe. My plan for tonight is to work on my art journal and go right to bed. I really really need the rest. I’ve been thinking about summer planning lately. I think I might finally have an idea for my etsy shop and for some other things and I am working on plans for David, too. Too much to think of and I am so exhausted. So thankful tomorrow’s Friday.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that the stable push happened successfully (again!)
2. I am grateful that tomorrow is Friday. I need rest so much.
3. I am grateful for all the help i have around me, at work, at home. I am so blessed and lucky and people are so kind and generous and I am so grateful for that.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that mommy and i finished our book {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I am watching the Sound of Music.
3. I am grateful that I played on the phone for a little bit.

Just like some days are good photo days, others not so much. I only got a few today and none are that great.

This is the kind of smile I get from David, now.

and here’s Nathaniel coming to get the lego box so he can go play near his dad in the other room.

thank you for your kind words on my art journal. I really am enjoying this process a lot. I am hoping to take some time later this week and fill up a few more backgrounds for the coming weeks. This week’s page is already making me happy.

I got a bunch of work done this morning and it made me feel significantly better than yesterday. Though I just ate a lot of food right now and it’s made me feel too full and too guilty. Emotions are so fickle. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get myself more motivated and I think (you might laugh) that maybe I don’t have enough to do. I work well when I have deadlines. I get a little stressed but I also get very motivated and inspired and productive and happy. So I think I might just sit down and create some deadlines for myself.

Yes, I do know it’s a bit crazy….but alas, it might just do the trick.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that today’s tasks went well at work. Hopefully tomorrow morning will go well too and I can breathe a bit better.
2. I am grateful that Jake will be around in the morning to help me while I work.
3. I am grateful for kindness and generosity of spirit today. I feel, in the end, kindness matters more than just about anything. Kindness and integrity.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that Mr. Jun read the Mouse and the Motorcycle to me {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I got a piece of chocolate after dinner.
3. I am grateful that I watched a little bit of the Sound of Music.

What a wonderfully full day we’ve had here. We started off our morning with some family shots (after I exercised of course). The kids were distracted with other things.

Like my watch. Or the remote.

We kept asking Nathaniel where the camera was (to get him to look at it.)

Tickle time.

Then we celebrated Nathaniel’s birthday with a little cupcake (we’re having a birthday celebration for him next weekend since his birthday happened to fall on easter.)

He was skeptical about the cupcake and the candles.

But once I gave him a spoonful of icing, he decided to give it another chance.

And even gave me a smile.

Then it was time for the egg hunt. I told David to leave the easy ones for Nathaniel.

Last year, Nathaniel sat on the grass and cried the whole time. This year, he seemed to get into the spirit of it.

He picked up the eggs.

And put them in his basket (which is a halloween one since David had the easter one and I didn’t have two.)

He even found a few David didn’t.

The last one was the trickiest for all of them, here’s David looking for it.

Our eggs had jelly beans in them this year and they got to eat only a few eggs each. We then watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang together (which I LOVED as a kid) and I sort of knew the sugar would get in the way of naptime but I tried anyway. While Nathaniel played in his bed, I sketched and David worked on his workbooks. We’d already read our book for the day so after we were done, we picked up the little boy who was still not sleeping and ate lunch. I did my leg lifts, etc and now we’re all relaxing. Family night began early tonight with The Wizard of Oz and a picnic in the living room.

All my boys are watching with great joy. And another Sunday is almost over. This week will be a bit rough but I am feeling rested and happy. So bring it on!

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a full and wonderful day with my boys.
2. I am grateful that I got to watch two of my favorite childhood movies .
3. I am grateful for my simple but wonderful life.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I watched chitty chitty bang bang {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that family night is watching the Wizard of Oz tonight.
3. I am grateful for easter candy.

So right before I went to bed last night, I realized I didn’t have my notebook. This is the notebook where I journal, sketch and write my daily todo lists. I live with this thing. I couldn’t possibly imagine having left it at home so I was sure I lost it. Let’s just say it put a sour end to a lovely day.

But I went to bed and despite Nathaniel waking up several times and a raging headache, I still woke up happy and after a bit of getting everyone settled, I went to the gym. And when I came back, we thought it would be fun to take a walk down to the beach. They had these golf carts that take you down to the beach and I knew David would want to ride one so we took it down to the beach.

Once we got there, everyone was happy. At least fascinated.

David was happy.

Nathaniel was watching the waves.

And his brother.

Who ran right into the sand.

And kicked around.

And laughed.

And went running.

The colors are off on this one but I still like it.

We walked all the way up the path and I took tons of flower photos on the way up. And then we went into the lobby and rested by the fire.

Then it was time to check out so we packed up and got out of there. We drove down to the Santa Cruz boulevard and Jake and David played video games while Nathaniel napped in the car and I sat with him and did my sketch. When he woke up I tried to get him to sit on the driver seat but he was mighty cranky.

They came back and we all walked to the boardwalk and the boys all had some food as we enjoyed the fresh air.

We walked back to the car and headed home and guess what? my notebook was here!! So it all worked out! The kids are now in bed (well David’s playing in his room but the little one’s in bed.) and we’re watching 30 Rock and I will then journal and do my art journal and blissfully go sleep. It was a truly sweet and wonderful vacation and, like always, it’s wonderful to be home.

I also wanted to say, thank you for your kind words about my “random thoughts” post this week. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus. I actually feel much better inside than I ever remember feeling and I am not sad in any way. When I said “i might be a nobody” I meant that I am not a big name in the industry and thus a million opportunities don’t come my way each day which makes each of them harder to turn down. I didn’t mean for that to sound so out of proportion. Also, while I can feel not as talented as I wish I were, I don’t ever let it stop me and I still sketch and art journal and work on improving myself so I can be happy with me. I appreciate your kind words deeply but as you know it’s always more about how one feels about oneself. Which is why I am working on finding my way with art and sketching. I did it with scrapping and it’s been wonderful. I am also doing it with exercise/food so I can be more at peace with my body and that’s wonderful, too. So I know I can, I am just working on it.

Same goes for the “hang ups” from my childhood. I spent some time in a dark place over that but I am not anymore. For me, all these thoughts are coming out of paying attention and stepping back being more aware which is the first step to being free. I feel much more in a good place with all of this. Everyone has issues. These are some of mine. I am working on them and sharing them, analyzing them, thinking about them is all part of the process for me. I didn’t mean to worry anyone and like before I deeply appreciate your kindness but please know that I am in a good place. I have the most wonderful life. The best kids in the world and the most amazing, supportive and loving husband. I have a great job, friends, home, family and I love what I do in my free time. I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more. I am grateful every minute of every day and, it is because I feel so much happier that I can now notice these things, think about them and talk about them and work on them. Just wanted to make sure you knew not to worry.

But I am so touched by all your words. I am so so grateful. Thank you. It means the world to me.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for our sweet vacation. It was exactly what I hoped it would be.
2. I am grateful for another two days off to relax.
3. I am grateful I found my notebook!

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I watched TV{* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played video games with daddy.
3. I am grateful that we walked on the boardwalk and went to the beach.

Today was a weird day where I was wildly unproductive for no reason. I did the basic stuff and that was it. I guess some days are just like that and thankfully we’re taking some time off the rest of the week, obviously I need it.

I know this photo is blurry but I love it. It’s Nathaniel’s “smile” to the camera.

And here’s the other boy smiling.

And here he is “really” smiling. See those eyes smiling?

Nathaniel watching his brother play on the computer.

And his brother focusing hard.

I have book club tonight and I am going even though I haven’t read the book, even though it was my pick and even though I really should be packing. I am going. That’s that.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for book club. I always enjoy it.
2. I am grateful for a quiet day when I obviously needed it.
3. I am grateful for fun art videos which I watch as I exercise.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I am going on a trip tomorrow {* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I finished one of my workbooks.
3. I am grateful for mommy and daddy.