These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day thirty-one – water.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
Water.

I’ve lived near water my whole life. I grew up in Istanbul, a peninsula. Spent the summers on an island, Burgaz. I then moved to Pittsburgh which has some mighty rivers. Then, to another island, Manhattan. Spent time on two more islands: England and Japan. Moved right by the ocean in beautiful San Diego. And, finally, I am now living in another peninsula, the Bay Area. Even though I’ve never had the luxury of having a home walking distance to water, I’ve always lived a short drive away.

There’s nothing that can give me the sense of peace that water can. My mom often mentions how she’s used to looking out to the sea and seeing land. In Turkey, when we look out to the sea, we will see other parts of the country or parts of Greece. We are surrounded by Seas but not huge ones. Whereas in the West Coast, what you see is the infinite blue of the ocean. She prefers being able to see bits of land in the distance. I like that, too. But I also like the infinite waters.

When I am in the presence of endless blue, it reminds me of the immensity of the universe. I get the same feeling when I am by those huge redwood trees. They are big and mighty. And I feel so small when I am in their presence. Not it a bad way. In a way that makes my problems seem small. In a way that helps me acknowledge the power of the universe and how I am just a part of everything. It gives me perspective. It makes me feel connected. It calms me.

One of my lifelong dreams is to live by water. To be able to walk out of my house and dip my toes in the water. To look out of my window and see the endless sea. I know that it is unlikely to happen. I’m practical. I know living near water means mold. It means constantly keeping up with things rotting. It means living in the middle of nowhere or being really, really wealthy. It’s not likely to be a reality but I am okay with that.

I am grateful to get to live so close to water. I am grateful to be near so much nature. I am grateful for the incredible weather in California that allows me to take walks by the water whenever I wish. I am grateful for the restorative power of water. For the peace it gives me.
—
And that’s a wrap! 🙂

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day twenty-nine – break.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
As part of my job, I have to take a few yearly trips to Zurich. My whole team is there so these trips are my time to connect and get some work done face-to-face. Even though I dislike leaving my family behind, these trips end up being a break from my day to day life.

I often take the Sunday night flight out of SFO and come back on Friday afternoon. (Though, for this January, I booked a flight that leaves on Friday and returns on Thursday, so we’ll see how that configuration works.) So I am only in Zurich for about four days. I spend most of my hours at work.

But I also get a lot of jet lag. I find myself awake at 2am and I can’t go back to sleep. So during those early hours of the night, I lie in bed and read and read and read. At night, when everyone’s gone home, I go back to my hotel room where it’s quiet and I read some more. When I am finally ready to give up on sleep, I walk downstairs to this beautiful room filled with floor to ceiling bookcases and I eat my breakfast while I read my book. I get a lot of reading done each time I visit Zurich. And it always feels so peaceful.

In the past, I’ve brought things along with me, like books to journal in or watercolors and sketching notebooks. But I never touch them. (Though on the most recent trip, I ended up sketching and coloring my meal on the plane back home.) It seems reading is the one thing I like to do at 2am, 4am, 7am, 8pm and whenever else I am not sleeping or working. It’s something I can do with a lot of jet lag and it’s something that makes me feel rested and centered.

During this upcoming trip, I will get to be in Zurich for a Saturday afternoon and Sunday. Even though I will be jet lagged for most of it, I am hoping I might finally get to see a bit of the city. Do some actual sightseeing. It will be cold and possibly even snowing since it’s going to be the end of January but cold weather and snow don’t scare me. My bet is that they will make the city even more beautiful. And if it’s raining or just way too cold: well I always have my books. I never say no to an entire day of sitting by the fire and reading.

Even though I feel sad leaving my boys behind, I am also grateful for the small break that Zurich creates in my life. A few days dedicated solely to work. And nights to quiet reading.

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day twenty-seven – sweet.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
If I had to only eat one sweet thing my whole life, it would be chocolate. I can give up pretty much any other sweet. I’m not crazy about ice cream, cake, cookies, or candy, but give me chocolate any day of the week. I don’t care for chocolate cake or even hot chocolate, just the candy itself. Especially Nutella or the kind of chocolate that’s hard on the outside but soft on the inside. Just thinking about it right now makes me want to have some.

As part of my job, I now take regular business trips to the chocolate center of the universe: Switzerland. And I work at a place where we get lots of free chocolate and food. This combination, while sounding wonderful, often means I eat way too much chocolate when I am in Zurich. I, of course, bring a bunch home, too so I end up continuing to eat too much chocolate for another week after I am back.

Since I have so many issues around food and my weight, this love of chocolate is always such a struggle. I can never truly, deeply enjoy the chocolate when I am eating it, because, if not during, certainly moments after I finish the chocolate, I feel a huge wave of guilt. I immediately chide myself for making bad choices and not having willpower. Which then makes me want to eat more chocolate. And on and on the circle goes.

My boys aren’t as crazy about chocolate as I am. David prefers candy over chocolate. He likes the sour or the gummy kind. Nathaniel likes chocolate but also likes candy. They both like cake, cupcakes, etc. But their favorite is ice cream. They love most kinds of ice cream so occasionally we walk from our house to Yogurtland and the three boys get ice cream. David prefers Mango and Tart ice cream with mochi and gummy bears for toppings. Nathaniel likes Oreo and RockPops ice cream and m&ms for toppings. They both like sprinkles, too. Jake usually gets different but mostly plain types of ice cream but he likes to add a lot of cookie dough. On the rare occasions I get some, I tend to stick to Coffee or the fruity flavors. Ice cream, like the chocolate, is also fraught with “I shouldn’t be eating this” thoughts for me so since I don’t love it anyway, I tend to stay away from it.

In general, I am much more a “savory” person than “sweet.” I prefer bread, cheese, rice, croissants. In Turkey, we have salty baked goods and those are often my favorite. The one and only exception is chocolate. My sweet of choice.

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day twenty-five – 7:30PM.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
Today was an important day for David. Something he worked very hard towards and hopefully a big milestone for him. He was brave and graceful and mature. And I am so very proud of him. So today’s 7:30 is slightly different than usual.

7:30pm is quiet around here. On week nights, Nathaniel goes to bed around 6pm and I snuggle up and read to him. We just finished Because of Winn-Dixie and started Bliss. We generally read for 10-15 minutes and he then goes to sleep. David gets to stay up a bit later but he’s in bed at 7pm with lights out by 7:30pm.

On most weekdays, I have 5 or 5:30am meeting so I go to bed early myself. Lately, I’ve been going to bed early with some tea and a small bar, and my ipad. I listen to my audiobook and play CandyCrush or I read, depending on my mood. I will then lie in bed for an hour or even more and turn the lights off between 9 and 9:30pm. Even with that, I don’t often get the full eight hours of sleep I need.

On weekend nights, Nathaniel still goes to bed about the same time. He likes to make sure he’s sleeping before it’s dark out. David gets to stay up until 8pm, so he might be in his room reading or downstairs, hanging out with me as we both read.

Tonight, he gets to say up as late as he wants. Jake’s in the city, listening to a speech by Justice Breyer so, David’s been sitting next to me, playing me wonderful songs from his Spotify as I write this. In a little while, we’ll sit side by side and read. There’s nothing that makes me feel as content as sitting next to my kids and reading while they read, too. I get to experience this with David regularly and it makes me so happy. I am looking forward to getting to do it more with Nathaniel too as he discovers and expands his passion for reading.

Before I took the job with the Zurich team, I used to go to sleep a few hours later and
even though I would call myself a night person, I’ve grown to love this new schedule.
And even though waking up when it’s dark is tough, feeling productive and accomplished by 10am is a wonderful feeling.

I am off to spend more time with my wonderful son. Here’s to many more nights together.

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day twenty-three – hair.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
One of my earliest memories about my hair is sitting in the car with my mom and telling her that I didn’t want to have short hair anymore and I wanted to grow it out. I was in the fifth grade and I didn’t cut it again until after college. Small trims here and there but I didn’t cut my hair again until I was in my mid-twenties.

And then one day, I chopped it all off. At the time, it felt so liberating that I decided to have fun with it. I dyed it different colors from blonde to red to black during the next few years. I had a few years where I was getting more and more blonde. And because I got married during this period, in all my wedding photos I am blonde. Which is so weird to look at, now.

A few years later, when I was teaching in the Bronx, instead of working on Wall Street, it became really expensive and time consuming to keep dying my hair so I went back to dark and never looked back. And then I slowly started growing my hair out again. Not purposefully but just little by little.

Even though I’ve had gray hairs since I was seventeen, I had never been so great at taking care of my hair or making sure I dyed it regularly. In the last two years, I’ve found a hairdresser I love so I’ve been much more consistent with trying to take care of myself. She has also started lightening the bottom of my hair to give it more of a layered color and softer look. My hair is long again. In fact, I am almost back to where I was in my twenties. And I will admit that I love it.

I feel like long hair is a part of my identity and I’ve had long hair for so much of my life that it’s become one of the things I envision myself as when I think of who I am and what makes me, me. Of course, there might come a time when it’s no longer appropriate or convenient and when that time comes, I will do whatever I feel is right. Jake still hopes that I will go back to being blonde again one day.

Maybe at one point, I will cut it short and go blonde all at once. One can never tell. But, for now, I am really enjoying where I am and how my hair looks on its good days. Yet another small, but lovely thing to be grateful for, today.

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day twenty-one – paper.

(journaling below)

Journaling:
Even though I work with computers and absolutely love computers, I still do most of my planning and todo lists on paper. There’s something wonderful about sitting down with a pen and making lists and then getting to cross them off. Something the computer can never replace for me.

I’ve used these squared Moleskine notebooks for a few years now. Last Spring, I briefly tried to switch to a planner but despite multiple efforts and a nice amount of money spent, i never stuck. What I love about these notebooks is that they are not bulky and I can take them with me anywhere I go. I also love that they are squared. Each time I start a new notebook I print out my vision board for the year, some photos of my family, a calendar, and my goals for the year. I glue them to the front and back pages of the notebook.

I use the front side of the notebook to do my weekly planning, daily notetaking, etc. Each Sunday, I open a new spread and decorate it to my heart’s content. Then I lay out the appointments for the week and make a personal and work todo list. Things move around and change all week, of course, and the real copy of my calendar lives on the computer but I still like having a record of it all on paper. I love going back to previous weeks and having a written record of my life.

Starting at the back of the book, and upside down, I use the notebook to do my journaling. This way, when I am flipping through the book, I don’t have to worry about people seeing my journaling.

Over the years, I’ve also done my sketching, drawing, painting in these same notebooks. I love that when I look through them, I can see the days of my life. What I did, what I thought, what I created, what I felt. What I filled my moments and worries and wishes with for all these years of my life. When I was little, I used to keep a diary every day. I guess in
their own way, these journals have become my replacement.

I have moved several parts of my daily life to the computer. I live by my Google Calendar, contacts on my phone, and Gmail. But when it comes to todo lists, paper is still my first and last choice. I doubt I will ever give it up.