And just like that the ranunculus are gone. As I was bemoaning this fact to the flower people at the farmer’s market, the farmer said: “Yep they are gone now it’s the season for sunflowers and dahlias and we will move on and enjoy them.”
It was a good reminder and perspective shift for me.
I love ranunculus the most and I will not enjoy dahlias as much but I still enjoy them and many other flowers (peonies, man they are exquisite!) and if I spend all my energy complaining about how It’s no longer ranunculus season, I miss out on all the joy I can get from the millions of other flowers whose turn is right now.
And of course this made me think about work as well. There are definitely some changes and new seasons happening at work. And part of being able to show up for that and lean into it is noticing the beauty and the joys that I can extract from this particular season.
Paying attention to what is here now in leaning into it and really being present with it is a major part of my word. So I really appreciate it this good reminder.
Yes to being here now and yes to appreciating what’s here in this season.
I made a mistake tonight at work. It wasn’t a big mistake but it still made me trigger when it was pointed out. I took extra long being careful with every word I used in my email reply. And of course I thought about it for a while after and felt shame.
But now I am sitting here and deciding that I am ok with it.
We have a lot of change at work and there are new work dynamics, people dynamics and I am working hard to learn to grow to pivot.
That means that I will make mistakes. Because it’s hard to learn without making some mistakes. The only way to not make any mistakes is to do nothing.
So I made one today. I will learn from it and not make this one again. Next time I make a different one, I will hopefully learn from that one, too. And if I do it well, I the distance between mistakes will get wider and wider.
Here’s hoping.
Yes to releasing the shame and yes to learning from my mistakes.
I was journaling about my word today and when I looked it up, the dictionary said we can use yes as an opening to ask for more details, to be more curious, and we can use it as an affirmative as a response to something.
Yes as a beginning to a conversation and yes as an ending to a conversation. Yes to enthusiastically doing something and yes to accepting what is here now.
I love how this one small word can be used to create completely different possibilities.
I also love that I get to choose which yes I want to use in each moment. I can be intentional.
Ranunculus season is almost over and I already miss these flowers that make me so happy.
I have a lot on my mind today. We had a two-hour educational session for Juneteenth which was inspiring and thought-provoking. I also did some learning on my own. And as always, it reminded me how much more I have to learn.
Then I had some vulnerable conversations at work. That were good but then comes the vulnerability hangover that brene brown talks about so I am feeling some of that right now.
And i am trying to sit with it all and be present to what is instead of doing something like I often want to.
One of my goals around picking the word ‘yes’ was saying yes to what is. Being present to what’s here.
Being vs doing.
Being is really hard for me. I’d much rather do. I like to help, serve and make things better. But some things take time, other things are completely out of my control, and yet other things will not get better and it’s just life.
So instead of fighting it or beating myself up for not fixing it, I am trying to be here, feel my feelings and do the best I can when it’s possible.
Some days I do better than others but it’s always hard. So here I am today sitting with it all and working on being.
Yes to being. Yes to leaning in to what is. Yes to learning.
We’ve had a lot of changes at work lately and my day to day conversations and meetings and interactions have changed quite a bit.
Even though I am spending time with many people I’ve known for quite some time, the substance and interaction models we have changed.
As a result, I am trying hard to not walk into these meetings with preset ideology on who they are and how they will show up. I am trying to be open and keep a beginner’s mind mindset.
And I’m noticing how hard that is.
It’s so hard to shift how we see people once we’ve made up our mind about them.
It requires a concerted effort and an intentional mindset. And then I try to remember that everyone else likely feels that way about each other too.
Human interaction is so complex and interesting.
Yes to learning and growing and trying to hold on to that beginner’s mind thinking.
I don’t know why some people are worriers whereas others just assume things will work out.
I also don’t know why I was placed in the former camp.
I spent the day worrying about the rat in my car, of course. And I am very grateful to report I managed to lure it out of my car.
The internet, once again, came through for me.
We parked the car in the sun all day, then I opened the door and quietly waited. It jumped right out of the car.
After a moment of disbelief I closed the car door and my neighbor and her kids and I watched as the rat scampered around for quite some time. In broad daylight!
Anyhow, the car is at the mechanic now and if hopefully nothing is wrong with it, the next step is to get the car detailed. Here’s hoping that’s all there will be to this saga.
But here’s the clincher. So did I get the rat out because I worried endlessly until I solved it or was my husband right to not worry because look it’s solved now ( cause I solved it!! )
It feels to me that it’s much better to be in the group of people who don’t worry non stop because life seems to always work out.
I wish I could be the non-worrier type.
But at least I got the rat out, so we’re calling it a win for today.
Yes to resilience and not giving up. Yes to rat-free cars!
Big boy started a new job today. Little boy started his summer plan. And I had my last off day before the new chapter starts at work tomorrow. Here’s hoping it’s the best one yet.
I am trying really hard not to add chores to my June days but the rat that appears to have snuck into my car might have other thoughts. Now I have to make a mechanic appointment.
I never reread books. I always think that there are so many new ones to read, why would I go back to one I read?
I do sometimes rewatch movies but not very often.
Little boy rereads all the time. He gets joy from the comfort and familiarity of a story he knows and loves. Like a cozy blanket.
I used to get frustrated by that but I’m learning that there’s no one right way to be. Learning to release my ideas of right and wrong is a lifelong journey but the kids are definitely helping.
Yes to embracing who we are and embracing who others are too.
I finally managed to get through my other 13 items and it did feel good to get to cross off items from my list.
But the best part of today was getting to sit outside all day. After my morning exercise, I setup my journals, computer and food outside and did not go back inside all day except for bathroom trips and food. It’s almost 8pm and I am still sitting here and it’s just the right temperature.
