I was in an 8pm meeting in Thursday when several other parents on the call were talking about how they had to distract their kids or feed them something simple so they could make it to this call. At that time, my youngest was upstairs folding all our laundry, including sheets and towels.
Today, after he and I went grocery shopping, my back started hurting on the way home, so when we returned, he put away all the groceries, washed all the fruit and vegetables, put the bags by the door and then started the dishwasher and a load of laundry.
No one and nothing is perfect here, not even close. And yet there is so much goodness in my life. People who love me and find millions of ways to show me that love. Little boy does it by saying yes to the chores. And hugs. He also always says yes to hugs.
We decided to do something different tonight so we drove to the city and went to a comedy club. This was my third time ever in a comedy club. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I had spent most of the day being cranky so I figured I didn’t have much to lose.
And it turned out to be really fun. Only one of the six acts was really really funny but all of them were ok and it ended up being a really differebt night fur us.
Happy Friday. I don’t have too much on mind this weekend. I’ve been working hard to release and let go of things as they come and I’ve started practicing breathwork this week. It’s helping. So is exercise and yoga and stretching.
Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t tend to be subtle and when I like something I really like to go all in.
Mid September I started falling in love with rainbows and I have now filled my house with them. I like reminders and I like visual cues for the things that create the type of feeling I’m looking for.
Having it on my hand means I get to see it every day as I’m typing and I get to remember the feeling I’m trying to create in my life.
Today went a bit all over the place. I had some plans but the universe had different plans. Usually when this happens I find I get cranky about the plans I’d made in my head.
But today, I took a moment, readjusted my thinking, took a peek at my day, felt grateful that most of it was in fact flexible and not urgent meetings and then just readjusted my mindset.
The interesting part of this, for me, is that this option is available to me every day. Things aren’t as urgent or important as they might appear and yet my seld-created sense of urgency causes me unnecessary stress.
It was a good reminder that things are more flexible than they might seem.
As the days keep getting shorter and darker here, I’ve been thinking about ways to help me stay open and joyful and calm.
Here are some things I’m exploring in this season:
– smell – I have a diffuser in my bedside and it makes me happier than I thought possible. As a person who has always hated incense I thought I would hate diffusers but they create no smoke and the smell is a lot more subtle. I plan to buy one for the downstairs too.
– sound – last year I bought candles that crackle as they burn, I love that sound and will use them more often. And they have the joy of smell too. Also I’ve been playing music in the house more often lately and I remember how much I love music
– sight – flowers continue to bring me joy. So do colorful lights. So does a candle flame.
– silence – I’ve fallen out of my restorative yoga practice in service of other exercise, I plan to bring it back and add meditation as well.
– reflection – I do better in all things when I am intentional about how to spend my day and when I journal about how I feel and what I need to release.
– care – when I spend time focusing on skincare, gums, sleep, and nutrition, life flows more easily for me.
– connection – I am introverted enough to always at peace in my own company but I also know that connection feeds my soul so when I make an effort to do it more, I never regret it.
– air – and finally even in the cold, fresh air is an elixir. Something I crave daily.
So in this season that’s tougher for me, I plan to make an effort to do more of these. And I am always seeking new ways to make the darker days be a little lighter on my soul.
I had some tough conversations to have today and it made me realize that it’s helpful to work at it on my own first and see what outcome I really wanted.
If I am not clear.on what I want going in, it’s really hard to ensure that I know what to say. At the same time, if I am really attached to the outcome I want, then I might not listen well.
So I need to walk that narrow line where I am clear in my why and what and also I am not attached to the outcome.
Little boy was Kaz Brekker from Six if Crows for Halloween. He 3-d printed a crow’s head to attach to his cane and we painted the whole thing at home.
I am not a fan of Halloween and yet I really enjoy watching others get into it. I love that little boy is always in the spirit to celebrate and have fun. I love that both my boys went to be with friends tonight.
And now that it’s the end of Halloween, bring on Christmas!
Saturdays are for lying on the couch. I miss summer already and I am also excited about Christmas season. I am grateful for the quiet of these cold days. Snuggling up with a good book, music I love and a warm drink.
I’ve been told not to take things personally my whole life. I’m slowly starting to understand how to do that and what might be possible for me as a result.
A friend of mine at work told me a few weeks ago that the top way people feel included at work is by feeling recognized. Which I guess is a way people feel seen and appreciated maybe?
So I’ve been thinking about how I prefer to be recognized and how I can communicate clearly about that. And what makes me feel seen.
And I’ve also been thinking about how I can do that for others. How I can listen better for what makes them feel seen and appreciated.
300 days into this year. This year for which I had so many hopes. This year which we spent getting tested and vaccinated and tested more. A year spent in solitary.
Alas, parts of this year turned out so much better than I hoped and others so much worse. Isn’t that life for you?
I discovered a new-to-me musician today and have been listening to his work nonstop and it has given me endless joy.
So grateful for artists who share their soul with us so we might have more color and joy in our lives.
