I’ve been thinking more and more about my diet lately. It’s the one area where I haven’t made as much progress as I would have liked with this project.
I think it’s because it’s not as easy to time box, constrain or do it as the others on my list. Since it’s something to not do vs something to do.
I am tired and content right now. My mind is reasonably empty which is rare and lovely. I have many things to do and many things I am worried about.
But in this very moment I am not thinking about any of them. I am here, resting, listening to a good book, feeling my sore legs, arms and toes from tonight’s workout, and feeling warm snuggled under the pile of blankets.
Grateful for the quiet and grateful to be in this present moment.
Yes to being present and yes to doing things that help me be more present.
I climbed my first 11c at the gym today. It was a stem climb which is the easiest style for me but it was still quite challenging and a long long way from the 5.9s I was climbing before the pandemic.
Today I was thinking about what I would like the next few years to look like. I have some big milestones coming at home with my older son starting 11th grade next year. And I think it might be time to lean in more with life vs work for a while.
I have to think about what that means.
What I do know is life passes way too quickly. I make a decision and then four years later I wake up down the path from that decision that I had no idea was going to be this long and end up here.
Time passes by and some things cannot be lived again. My kid is going to be around for two more years before he starts a path to his own life. I want to enjoy every moment of that. I will only be in my 40s for a few more years and I want to enjoy every moment of that.
As we get to the last few weeks of this project I think it would really help me to do some reflection of what’s working well and where I need to lean in harder and where I need to let go more.
This has been one of the most impactful 100 day projects I’ve ever done.
I’ve been thinking a lot about roller coasters lately. When my older one started middle school, the head of school told us all that middle school is tricky and a lot happens and that our kids would be riding up and down a rollercoaster over these three years.
And that our job was to not get on the coaster with them. Instead to wait at the bottom with a plate of cookies and be there for them when they get off.
I’ve been thinking about this analogy for my life in general. I can easily get caught up on helping people around me and getting on the rollercoaster with everyone around me who is experiencing difficult emotions.
Which is not helpful. Because at the best case I am riding with them and now experiencing things too and thus less able to help. And in the worst case, I’m now on a rollercoaster myself, involving myself into a conversation that wasn’t about me, making it about myself and now I am involved and part of the problem too.
So lately, I’ve been reminding myself that this is not happening to me but to a person I love. It is not about me (unless they tell me otherwise) and the best way in which I can be helpful is by staying grounded and asking them what would help.
It works wonders when I manage to do it.
Yes to supporting the people I love. Yes to not getting on the rollercoaster with them. Yes to awareness.
I was telling someone at work about this project today and how much it’s served me.
And I was talking about the nutrition aspect and how I am still struggling with it so much.
With exercise I’ve created a routine and a set of things I do daily. Maybe with nutrition I need a similar process. A set of nutritious things I eat and I focus on what to eat not on what not to eat.
I was walking to the car from the climbing gym today when I saw this drawing. Things feel like this more often than I would like.
There are many things going well in my life. And today’s news was a sigh of relief for a moment at least. And I am grateful for so much of everything I have. Everything I get to do and more.
And yet there’s still more to do and so much going on. And so much of living life anyway. I was doing email tonight since I was wildly behind from being away last week and everyone I emailed replied within minutes. Tons of others doing email at 8, 9, 10pm at night. We are all working all the time. My kids have not seen their friends or been to their school in person in over a year. My little one will get to celebrate his yet another birthday during a pandemic.
Things are “fine.” And yet…
Yes to acknowledging what is. Suppressing or ignoring things doesn’t help us move past them.
I’ve been looking for a way to have Turkish tea. There’s a place near our house that serves it and it’s so aromatic and reminds me so much of home.
I don’t know which tea it is so i found one on Amazon that can be used with a pot and made some today. Alas it wasn’t the one. It’s tasty but not aromatic.
Still enjoying it and the slowness it encourages in my life.