Weekly Reflection 2018 – 08

How I got Stronger this week: I worked hard on getting stronger this week, on all counts. I went rock climbing with my boys on Monday which was hard but also satisfying as I was able to get to the top of the easiest climb on my first morning. Tuesday and Wednesday was a lot of meetings, juggling new and old job. I also went to Body Pump on Tuesday morning so my muscles were very very sore by Wednesday. On Thursday, I took David to his doctor checkup and then took some meetings before we got on the road at 11am where I took more meetings and did more work while Jake drove. After all my meetings were over, I drove for a bit but then the roads got very icy and I decided it wasn’t safe for me to drive so Jake drove us all the way to Reno. On Friday, I skied all day with Jake and then with Jake and David. And it was so cold that I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes. So, finally, on Saturday, I decided to rest. I’ve still done the Yoga every single day regardless of where I am or how tired I am. This week was both intellectually and physically taxing. But I made it and I am hopefully stronger for it. 

Top Goals Review:  had more 1-1s, making progress on the roadmap and the reviews, rested a bit but was also physically active this week so not sure if it counts, and we went on vacation! wee!

I celebrate: I celebrate our little time off this week and also getting started in my job. I am making progress, however small.

I am grateful for: all the people in my life who forgive me despite my poor behavior. I go to bed every night vowing to do better the next day but then I wake up and I inevitably do something I am not very proud of. Again and again. And the people in my life give me more chances to get it right. I am so grateful for their kindness. And I will keep trying to get it right.

Karen’s Points: Still haven’t taken the time to revamp things. My eating this week has been so-so. While it’s not super poor, it’s definitely nothing to be proud of. My plan for March is to bring some of the discipline back into the eating. I also plan to go back to the cardio and do body pump more regularly. Let’s see how much progress I can make.

A Change I embraced:  the rock climbing was new and scary.

I let go of:  skiing on the second day when I just felt bone tired and really, really cold. I needed a break and I took it. i also let the kids and Jake ski alone which for most people is nothing but for me it was a big letting go.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: rock climbing.
  • Magical: this week’s magical moment snuggling in the hotel with my hubby and kiddos
  • Lighter: i am trying to get through this new job transition with a lot more grace than I would usually grant myself, trying to keep things lighter and not be overly anxious.
  • True: working hard to stay true to what matters most to me and balance that with what matters to the people who matter most to me.

Where I chose Joy: i chose to share climbing with my family. I chose joy when i went skiing and then when i decided not to ski

I showed up for: nathaniel, where i helped him stay focused on his math. he’s been making steady progress and is not on 6th grade math.

A Mistake I made this week: i behaved poorly last night when i was really tired and felt under-appreciated and frustrated and hurt. none of those are good excuses for my poor behavior. i will do better next time.

What I tolerated this week: being super sore all week and the extreme cold.

My mood this week was: exhausted.

I forgive myself for: not skiing on the second day. I felt bad about leaving the boys alone but I was totally spent.

What I love right now: I love that spring is right around the corner.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Moments from this Week – 08

The reason I love this project so much is because it works so well with my actual life. I was away in Sydney for most of this week but I took some photos and Jake took some photos and then I focused mostly on the photos instead of the words this week since I wasn’t here to write daily. And I still have a wonderful page from this week. I love love love this project. <3


Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Books I Read This Week 2018 – 08

I read some of these books while I was traveling back from Sydney. The 14 hour flight lends itself to some wonderful reading, especially since I can’t sleep on airplanes. I only watched one movie in the roundtrip flight so that was almost 25 hours of reading time.

I’d intended to tackle You last year but never got to it and then I heard they’re making a movie of it this year soI wanted to read it first. But alas, it wasn’t the best use of my time. It was creepy and sad and didn’t redeem itself at any point. At least now I know that I won’t be watching the movie.

How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t was a quick read that I skipped around in since not all the chapters were relevant to me. It’s one of those books I will likely refer back to but isn’t at the top of my list.

Faster Than Normal was interesting especially because I am married to a person with ADD and there was a section on how to work with that better. Having said that we’ve been together for 23 years so I think we’ve already done much of what he recommends. There were some valuable bits in here if you do have ADD, however.

The Wife was the next mystery of the year. I’ve read so many mysteries this year, far more than my usual share and I am definitely growing tired of them but this particular one was okay. It was considerably less irksome than some of the others I read and the twist didn’t bother me nearly as much as they usually do.

How to Stop Time was lovely. I am not sure I can even explain this book but it’s science fiction and literary fiction and maybe a tiny bit of mystery. I enjoyed how different it was.

Do Over had some valuable bits, especially as I am starting a new role (though not in a new company etc.) It was a quick read and I liked it.

Force of Nature was the best read of the week. I’ve read this author’s previous book last year and it was also very good. This is the kind of thriller/mystery I can get behind. With strong character development, wonderful atmosphere and solid writing.

 Force of Nature is the 41st book I read this year. Here are some stats so far:

Thoughts:

  • Liked: 23
  • Loved: 8
  • Meh:9
  • Disliked: 1

Genre:

  • Nonfiction: 17
  • Fiction: 12 
  • YA: 3
  • Mystery: 9
  • Middle: 2
  • Scifi: 1

Here’s to reading more!


Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

On My Mind – 08 – Look Forward to, Like Doing, vs Like Having Done

Those of you who’ve read here a while will not be shocked to hear that I do many, many things each week. I try to set specific goals for myself and then I also try to achieve them. I am an Upholder so the only person I need to be accountable to is myself. I work hard to honor who I want to become. 

I was thinking on the drive home this morning that while I do a lot of things, I think people assume that I feel the same way about all the things I do and that I must really have good sense of discipline. One of the things I’ve learned as I get older and live more and more intentionally is that if I wait until I feel like doing things, I will never do them. There are many many many things in my life I do because I know that I will be glad I did and not because I like doing them. In fact I’d say there are three categories for me:

  • Look forward to doing: These are things I can’t wait to do. I really love doing them and I am excited when I know the time is coming. There are very few items on this list: reading, some vacations, hugging my family, date with certain friends and resting/sleeping. That might be it. There are many one-off items on this list but routinely I probably only really look forward to these few things. 
  • Like Doing: These are things that I don’t always look forward to but as soon as I start doing them I love them. I am immediately glad I am doing them. This is a wide list for me but here are some examples: tucking nathaniel in, taking math classes with the kids, body pump, yoga, stretching, vacations that aren’t on the previous list, online classes, spending time helping my kids, volunteering at the kids’ school, scrapping/art/journaling etc.
  • Like Having Done: This is, by far, the biggest list for me. These are things that I know are good for me but I rarely naturally want to do them and I don’t always enjoy doing them (sometimes I might but it’s not consistent enough to make it to the previous list). Many of the growth areas of my life (or the chores) would fall in this category. Things like: cardio/barre type exercise, eating healthy most of the time, getting up early, driving kids to their extracurriculars, picking kids up from the school, cleaning out my email, packing lunches for the kids, crossing off all my todos, self care like getting my hair or nails done. Putting cream on my body, flossing, etc. 

I try to have a healthy distribution of the three things but the third bucket is always biggest for me. I don’t like doing these things any more than the next person but I try to balance it out by having enough things in the other two and by reminding myself that I am always grateful at the end and that these efforts accumulate. It’s a lot of self-awareness, tracking outcomes, and self coaching to remind myself that it’s worth it.

Now that I am seeing it all laid out in front of me, one of the things I want to work on is balancing each throughout my day/week. I want to make sure I do combination of these every day and each week. The weeks when it’s so much more of one vs the other are always the weeks I feel off balance. Even when it’s all #1 and none of the other two. I benefit from having all three in my life. 

And of course there are things that i do that I don’t like to do and am not glad I did, but I try to reduce those as much as possible. Those can accumulate into a life that feels draining and bitter and that’s something I don’t want to experience any more if I can help it. 

 


On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Stories from 2018 – 08 – Thirteen!!!

And now I officially have a teenager. Where does the time go?! 

I arrived from Sydney on the morning of David’s thirteenth birthday. I’d missed his birthday last year due to another trip to Sydney so I wasn’t going to do that again. I booked my tickets so I’d make sure to be back and I landed around 7am so I told Jake to not even put David on the bus. We spent the day at home the three of us. David and Jake played a few games while I took a nap and then we opened presents and then we walked to Palo Alto and had some pizza and root beer. We walked and chatted and spent time with David.

Then it was time to get Nathaniel and David played some more games with his friends online. It was a quiet day but focused on him. And for the first time in almost ten years, he also opted to have a small birthday party this year. We invited four of his friends and they all went rock climbing together and then back to our house for some poker and pizza and cake.

It was really nice to see how nice and kind his friends are and a wonderful day for our wonderful boy! I am so grateful for David and can’t believe we are already all the way to thirteen. I hope time slows down a bit and we can soak in the joy of the days we have together.

Happy Birthday my wonderful son, you are the very best thing that ever happened to me and I am so so honored to get to be your mom.


Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.

Stronger Than Before – 08

Weekly Intention: This week is a bit of a mix. Monday is a national holiday so I will be grateful to have the extra day to relax. Tuesday and Wednesday will be long work days for me and the kids will be home with Jake since it’s Winter Break for them. On Thursday, I will work half a day and then we will see if we can sneak a mini-vacation the rest of the week. (Hopefully!) My intention for this week is to be very productive when at work. And then to really be present with my family. I want to rest a lot, play a lot and live the moments of my life.

This month’s intention is: Physically Strong: This is your month. Get out there and get strong. Increase the weights. Add more cardio. Make a plan. You can do this. You have it in you. I will say that it worked out to be a poor choice to have this for February. I will not be able to go to the gym at all this month due to my travel, jake’s travel and holidays. I will have to swap this for March and do both of my intentions then. In the meantime I am still honoring this by doing daily yoga at least.

One way I will stretch this week:  i’m going to have to say that my new role will be stretching me for the next few weeks/months.

One boundary I will set this week: i will make sure more and more people know about my new role. this will help me be successful and set more boundaries.

This week, I will focus on pleasing: while i will continue to focus on my new team for a while, this week i will also spend solid energy on my boys while I am away

One new thing I will learn this week: i am going to try to learn a little bit more about each person.

One area where I will go deeper this week: one specific thing this week is a product roadmap.

What do I need to sit with this week? i need to sit with the discomfort of being the new person, not knowing enough, not being able to help enough yet, etc.

I am looking forward to: learning, growing, being helpful. i am really looking forward to this new role.

This week’s challenges: balancing work and home this week will be tricky.

Top Goals: 

  • Work:  more 1-1s, product roadmap and reviews.
  • Personal: rest. 
  • Family: vacation!

I will focus on my values:

  • Love: i want to spend some time helping jake this week
  • Learn: learn how to navigate well in this new role.
  • Peace: peace with being a beginner in so many ways
  • Service: this week’s service is maybe driving a bunch so Jake doesn’t have to.
  • Gratitude: for the opportunities that are coming my way. i am not taking any of it for granted for a second.

This week, I want to remember:  everything takes time, especially establishing relationships.


Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 07

How I got Stronger this week: This was a long and crazy week. My new position was officially announced on Monday and I started transitioning. Actually I am still doing a big portion of my previous job so there wasn’t a huge amount of transition yet, as I just started taking more on. This new role will be different, challenging and hopefully impactful. I have a lot to learn and a lot of new relationships to foster. I am optimistic and excited and of course quite a bit nervous, too. I spent a lot of this week focusing on the new job, being present, trying to hit the ground running, etc. I also tried to balance this with being there for all my boys. Jake helped me a lot especially on the former part of the week so I tried to kick it up a notch in the latter part of the week and be there for all three of them. I’ve also exercised everyday even though I’ve been feeling sick. I’m still going forward with the daily yoga.

Top Goals Review:  had several 1-1s already, working on hitting the ground running, kept going with yoga but didn’t add weights as i haven’t been back to the gym and it looks like most of february will be this way, and i will say that i am still completely dropping the ball on nathaniel 🙁

I celebrate: my new job!!

I am grateful for: the support system I have especially at home. my new job will require a lot of help and patience especially up front and I am really grateful for the patience and kindness my three boys (especially Jake!) are extending to me.

Karen’s Points: I will have to revamp these for post Jan. I’ve not being doing too poorly but I’ve also not been actively keeping track so I don’t want to be patting myself in the back without having an actual record. 

A Change I embraced:  uhm, my new job.

I let go of:  being able to jump in and immediately be useful. I will have to spend some time listening and learning. and while that’s hard for me, I will have to deal.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: new job. new people. new ways of working.
  • Magical: this week’s magical moment is my new job. it’s all pretty surreal still.
  • Lighter: i feel lighter now that the news is public.
  • True: despite the changes in my routine, i’ve stayed true to my values and made sure to focus a lot of time on my boys this week.

Where I chose Joy: i connected with my first childhood love and my best friend briefly this week and it was a big moment of joy just getting to chat with him. 

I showed up for: my friend this week and made room to spend time with her 

A Mistake I made this week: I said something hurtful to David yesterday that was passive aggressive and I am really happy that he called me out on it. I don’t believe in sarcasm and being mean through that and i felt embarrassed that I did it. I will do better.

What I tolerated this week: being sick, jetlag, and navigating a lot of unknown.

My mood this week was: excited, anxious and grateful.

I forgive myself for: not getting it all at once. I can do this and i will, it’s ok for it not to happen overnight.

What I love right now: I love that I am taking on new challenges and choosing to grow.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Moments from this Week – 07

Here’s this week’s page. It was a crazy week with exercise, whole30, lunches for a week, flat tired and more.


Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Books I Read This Week 2018 – 07

A bunch more reading this week. Some great books.

In the Midst of Winter was my first abandon. I read 3/4ths of it but just couldn’t get into it and have read enough other books on immigration that I couldn’t get myself to finish this one.

Awakening your Ikigai was wonderful, I highlighted so many sections and will need to refer back to it again and again. 

When was also great. some great lessons and food for thought. It’s not a long book but it’s full of gems.

How to be Everything was my favorite read of the week. I had this book checked out several times before I finally got to read it and it was written for me. Exactly for me. I am a multipotentialite as she likes to call it and it felt so wonderful to read about myself in a book!

The Last Mrs. Parrish was one I’d attempted before, too and I finally finished it. The twist was too similar to the one I read a few weeks ago (The Wife between us) and it was more poorly written. Some quite awful dialogue. So this is a meh.

Here’s to reading more!


Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

On My Mind – 07 – Not Sorry

I’m not on many newsletters anymore, mostly because I never have time to keep up with the emails and then I find myself getting annoyed when they pile up. So I’ve unsubscribed from any of them that send content frequently enough to annoy me. Susannah Conway is one of the few I still receive and I often like reading what’s on her mind.

Here’s what she shared this week from her instagram in response to it being her 45th birthday:

This feels like a really massive pivot point, as if this is truly my mid-way point between birth and death (assuming I make it to 90). I’m not having a midlife crisis, but rather I’m feeling a sense of “well that’s it then, NO MORE MESSING AROUND!” I am utterly grown-up and know myself so thoroughly I don’t want to apologise for anything anymore. Not that I have been, but there is always a lingering “sorry” somewhere isn’t there. Sorry if I’m taking up too much space. Sorry if I’m speaking about things I shouldn’t speak about. Sorry if my beliefs don’t match yours…

Having true as one of my core desired feelings this really resonated with me. I find that I definitely also have a lingering “sorry” all the time and I want to put it down. I don’t have any desire to be arrogant or full of myself. But I do want to be able to own who I am and just make peace with it. 

This doesn’t mean I don’t continue to grow and improve, those are my core values and I will always work on myself. But, I don’t want to spend my life apologizing. I don’t want to choose to be with people around whom this feeling is heightened. I want to be able to embrace me. Embrace who I already am, both the goods and the bads. 

Glennon Doyle Melton often speaks about how we can do hard things but we can’t do easy things and this is so very true for me. I have a hard time with small, easy daily life things that so many people seem to move through seamlessly and yet I can do many things others would consider hard. Instead of beating myself up about the small things, I just want to learn to acknowledge this about myself, get the help I need for the easy things and spend my energy on the hard things.

I know that so much of life is about learning who you are and making peace with that instead of fighting who you should be. And as I approach my mid-life, I want to make sure to remember that not only intellectually but in my being. I want to shift my mindset and way of living so it honors who I am more and leads me to a more fulfilling life. 

One without unnecessary apologies.


On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Stories from 2018 – 07 – Blue Blood Super Moon

The morning of the day I was scheduled to leave for Sydney was the magical line up of several rare occurrences. We got to have a blue moon (second full moon in a month), a red moon (full lunar eclipse) and a super moon (moon closest to earth) all at once.

The only downside was that this was scheduled to happen at 4:30am. Nathaniel was determined to see it and so we set our alarm clocks and went out to watch it happen at the crack of dawn. (or before really.) 

And it was magical. 

The red color was really amazing. So I had to look up why it’s red. Here’s what internet says:

The Moon does not have any light of its own—it shines because its surface reflects sunlight. During a total lunar eclipse, the Earth moves between the Sun and the Moon and cuts off the Moon’s light supply. When this happens, the surface of the Moon takes on a reddish glow instead of going completely dark. The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets and the sky to look blue.

David slept in until about 5:30 but still got to see it. When we were watching, it was red but not really super big. After the kids went in to have breakfast, I drove to get some coffee and when I was on my way back, I saw it huge and red and it was even more magical.

I love sharing these moments with my little ones. What a wonder this world is!


Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.

Stronger Than Before – 07

Weekly Intention:  This is a big week. Some changes in my work life will be announced today and I am both looking forward to it and of course a bit apprehensive. It will change my schedule and so much of what i do day to day. This will require lots of adjustment. I am looking forward to it but also scared of course. My intention this week is to give a lot of focus to this change and really show up at work. 

This month’s intention is: Physically Strong: This is your month. Get out there and get strong. Increase the weights. Add more cardio. Make a plan. You can do this. You have it in you. I plan to keep going with the yoga and add 5-10lbs to my weights.

One way I will stretch this week:  oh well it will be in a lot of ways at work this week.

One boundary I will set this week: i will start deleting some meetings, start claiming my time back.

This week, I will focus on pleasing: my new people at work!

One new thing I will learn this week: my new work.

One area where I will go deeper this week: i think i will pick a specific area at work and see if i can dive deep a bit.

What do I need to sit with this week? i need to sit with the discomfort of all the new things in my work.

I am looking forward to: everything being announced finally.

This week’s challenges: let’s just say plenty 🙂

Top Goals: 

  • Work:  have 1-1s, hit the ground running.
  • Personal: keep going with the yoga+add weights+eat better.
  • Family: make a plan for Nathaniel!!

I will focus on my values:

  • Love: love and hug my boys like crazy!
  • Learn: Learn how to be patient with myself with learning all these new things.
  • Peace: peace with quitting this volunteer job.
  • Service: this week’s service is going to jake since he’s done so much while I was out.
  • Gratitude: for my family for my job, for my life.

This week, I want to remember:  that I can do this!


Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.