This card says: Shining means moving forward anyway and not letting others or the circumstances tell you who you are or what you are worth. Shining means sitting with the pain. Standing in the hard work of being there with the hurt. And doing it anyway. Being there + moving forward anyway.

I had this long conversation with David the other day in the car. I told him that I want him to not get so upset when he hears criticism from me. That I am the best person to criticize him because he knows without a doubt that I love him and he knows without a doubt that I will forever love him with all of my soul. So he knows that my criticism is coming from a place of love. From a place of encouraging him to learn and grow and try doing differently. 

I then told him that I would like him to take risks and to be brave and to be willing to fail. And that none of that can happen if he’s not open to criticism. Because failure comes with a lot of that and failure stings. And it’s hard. And it hurts.

And it’s inevitable.

We all fail. In ways small and big. I have yet to meet a person in my life who hasn’t failed. Because part of living is taking chances. However small. When you take a chance, there’s a statistical probability that you will fail. And what matters is not whether you fail or not. Because failure is guaranteed.

What matters is how you handle that failure. What matters is where you choose to go from there. 

For me, shining means sitting with the failure, feeling the pain, letting it hurt. And then learning what it was there to teach you. Growing. And then moving forward so you can take more chances, try again, and apply your learnings. So you can learn, take a chance, fail, grow, learn, take a chance, succeed, take another chance, fail, learn, grow and keep doing it over and over again. 

I believe that it’s the only way to move forward.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

This card says: Shining means taking the time to heal. Resting my body + soul + mind. But also taking specific action towards healing. Taking the time to move and to journal. To watering my soul, body, mind, so it can bloom.

Not so great at this one. 

But isn’t that what these cards are about? Remembering what it does mean to shine and making the recurring choice to honor that.

I know that when I choose protein and vegetables and water and I stick with that choice, I feel better. I know that when I move more, I am increasing the duration of my life. The way in which I will age. I know that when I journal, I gave my soul a way to speak to me and let me know what’s going on.

All of these have definitely had an impact on my life. On my ability to shine. 

But these particular things are hard for me. It’s easier for me to multi-billion dollar prioritization exercise across three timezones than it is to wake up 20 minutes earlier and exercise. Or than drinking more water.

It’s just the way it is.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t get to choose it. That doesn’t mean I take the easy way out. It means that if I want to choose to shine, I get up, I show up, and I do the hard work.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

This card says: When I shine, I wear things that make me happy and bring out my inner light. I do not worry about looking good or right. I spend my energy on feeling food and right. I choose to sparkle inside and out. I show up exactly as I am.

This is such a small thing and yet such a big thing. As I get older, I am working hard to learn that what matters most in life is being able to be exactly who I am. Unapologetically. 

This doesn’t mean being in people’s faces, or having an aggressive attitude. I can be who I am quietly, patiently, and kindly. I can embrace who I am without rejecting who you are. 

And when I shine, I embrace myself 100%. I embrace my good qualities and my not so good ones and everything in between. Accepting and embracing doesn’t mean that I don’t try to improve, it just means I am not beating myself up. It also means I am owning who I am. I can only change what I am willing to accept. Denial doesn’t lead to change. 

I don’t even want to conform in my clothes anymore. I want to wear makeup that makes me happy. I want to wear clothes that make me smile. I want to be able to be me from the outside in and the inside out. 

 When I do this, I shine. I can feel myself shine when what I wear is a reflection of who I am. 

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

This card says: When I shine I am not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday. I am here, now, seeing the magic of this moment and all that it means to me. I am paying attention to the gifts of this moment and cherishing the facts that I am here now. I am remembering to live this very moment.

My word a few years ago was “present.” The whole point of choosing that word was to remember this one fact. To be here, now. 

This moment, right here, is so magical. In this moment, I am sitting on my couch with a blanket that’s warming my feet, some really comfy, soft tights that are colorful and listening to “I Bet My Life” by Imagine Dragons while I sip some coffee. David is in the other room, taking some alone time and Nathaniel is reading Calvin and Hobbes. Jake is traveling with his brothers and father. I am healthy. I am sleepy. I am content. 

There’s so much magic in this moment. This exact moment will never come around again. In fact, it’s already gone. I am in the next moment already.

And when I focus on what will happen three hours from now (I have to make lunches), or  two days from now (all-day work summit) or one week from now (David will be leaving for D.C) or a month from now (almost time to leave for Sydney again) or a year from now (both kids at the same school and David almost done with middle school!) I am filled with emotions that are related to that moment. My expectations, my worries, my focus changes. It’s not possible for me to hold on to this very moment and that other moment at the same time. 

It’s only when I am here, now that I can truly live this moment. Shining is only possible in this moment because it’s the only moment I have.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

This card says: I shine when I assume the best of other people and see what’s possible in every situation. This allows me to be in the most positive space when giving and receiving information. And allows me to approach conversations from a generative space as opposed to a me vs. you space which then allows the best of me to be.

I have found this to be true over and over again. There are two things here that are good for me to remember:

1. People are resourceful and whole. This is one of the core perspective changes I learned when I did my coaching training. People do not need “me” to help them. They are whole and capable all on their own and can solve their own problems. What they might benefit from is my asking the right questions or creating the space for them to find their own answers. This assumption is important outside of the coaching/mentoring space because it helps me remember that there are many perfectly valid answers/paths through problems/life. So,
2. When I assume the person in front of me has a valid perspective and when I assume they are good people, intending no harm, I am likely to be able to listen to them, hear their perspective, learn, grow and be grateful.

The combination of assuming people are all equally capable and equally wonderful, that allows for conversations that are generative, powerful and inspiring. Then I shine, they shine, we all shine.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

This card says: Shining means focusing outwardly. Showing people what full attention looks like and reflecting their thoughts + feelings without judgement. Being fully present in their light and letting them see it. Shining it back on them and celebrating them.

I believe everyone is amazing. We are all yearning to connect and be with other people. We are all suffering and trying to share in our common humanity. We are all walking each other home as the saying goes.

I believe that we make each other’s lives better when we show up and choose to be there for each other. When we reflect each other’s light back to each other. When I listen, truly listen and give the gift of my time and attention to someone else, then I am shining.

Then I am showing them how wonderful they are. I truly feel that I have something to learn from every person in my life and if I really listen to them, if I am really open to the gifts they are there to give me, I can receive them. I am grateful each time I choose to deeply connect. And I am even more grateful when I can see the good in each person. I am even more grateful when I can do something to show them their amazingness. 

Shining means creating the space to make this possible. Seeing and reflecting and showing and telling people about their light. 

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.