Behind

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden painted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.” from Fahrenheit 451

When I read passages like the above, I try to look at my life and figure out what I plan to leave behind. Having children is an obvious answer. Assuming everything turns out okay biologically, I plan to have children and, hopefully, I plan to have them outlive me. So even if I accomplish nothing else, I can have that as a backup.

The fact is, I want more than that. I want to change the world. I want to touch people’s lives, I want to save the planet, I want to create things, I want to make a difference. I think that’s one of the main reasons I am displeased with my job. While it makes my financial life smooth sailing, programming applications for an investment bank isn’t what I’d call ‘saving the world.’

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I need to start a movement to save the world. On the contrary, I believe a tiny thing is all it takes. If everyone did a tiny bit, we’d all be so much better off. I’ve talked about this before and I still believe in what I said. But I also have this urge to do something great. Something bigger than I am. Something that isn’t selfish and all about making my own life better. Something that will make me and my family proud of who I am. Something that will show the world that if I can, so can everyone else.

The question is what? Of course, I have no clue, cause if I did I’d be out there doing it instead of here, writing about it. But I promise you here and now that I shall leave something behind.

What will you leave behind?

Previously? I Am.