A while ago I wrote about a reminder I keep above my desk. “Will this matter in five years?” It’s a way I help ground myself in remembering how to prioritize the important over the urgent or even the irrelevant.
Another mantra I use all the time is: “it’s not about you.”
I can easily take everything personally. When someone around me is sad, angry, frustrated, or stressed, I tend to absorb the blame. Or find ways to make it my fault. Even when it clearly isn’t.
So I’ve been practicing saying “It’s not about you.” Sometimes I say it out loud. Sometimes I say it in my head as someone is speaking or as I read email. I need the reminder again and again because when I think it’s about me, I react and my prefrontal cortex shuts down. I cannot be kind or generative from that place.
And when I remember that it’s not about me, then I can approach with empathy and kindness because service is one of my core values and I love to help others.
The difference is substantial.
And honestly it’s never about me. Even when it’s a reaction to something I did or said, how others react is all about them not about me.
Yes to remembering it’s not about me.
#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes
Leave a Reply