I have found that how I choose to show up into a situation completely determines how I feel during and after it.
My expectations and attitude control if I consider the outcome a success.
Years and years ago when I was pregnant with my first son, we used to be part of a parent group at the hospital. After we all had given birth we got together and talked about our experience. One of the things my husband and I noticed when the session was over was that the people who had disappointing birth experiences were often people who came in with particular expectations that were not met.
So if they really wanted to have a natural birth and then ended up having to be medicated it felt like their experience was devastating. Or if they wanted to have all the medication and somehow couldn’t take it, they felt disappointed by the outcome. This is not to say there weren’t several cases of just completely unexpected sad stories too but those were rare in our group. For the most part, the frustration or sadness with the experience was much more correlated to the expectation as opposed to the experience itself.
I find this to be a theme in my life, too. If I show up to a situation with a very particular expected outcome I tend to be a lot more attached to how it went. Instead if I show up open and willing to take potentially different outcomes, it makes it easier for me to pivot as needed and it makes the outcome more likely to be a success because there wasn’t such a strict definition up front.
And if I show up willing to learn and grow as opposed to just trying to get things done, I tend to again be more open to receiving and adjusting and as a result growing from the process. And even when I disagree I am engaging with curiosity and not with frustration which makes the conversation a lot more productive.
So this is just a reminder to myself that things go much easier for me when I’m open and curious.
Yes to being curious and having a growth mindset.
#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes
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