I’ve never been a competitive person.
A month after Jake and I started dating, we ended up taking a class together. Many people assumed that the class would put a strain on our relationship. That our differing grades might give birth to feelings of animosity between us.
But it didn’t.
On the contrary, Jake and I chose to be in the same group and we encouraged each other and studied together. Even at that point, I cared enough about him that his getting a good grade made me happy and not jealous.
I tend not to define my life and successes by others.
I don’t mean that to sound standoffish. It doesn’t imply that I think I’m too good to compare myself to others. It just means that knowing that I’m more successful than so-and-so doesn’t make me feel accomplished.
I don’t want anyone else to be unsuccessful, unhappy or unaccomplished. There’s enough room in the world for all of us to be happy and accomplished in our own ways.
I simply want to be the best that I can be.
This is where things get a bit sticky. It seems my personal requirements for becoming happy and successful are overwhelmingly high. Each time I reach one level of success, I set the next one without spending too much time doting on having accomplished the previous goal. I keep pressing and pushing, determined to see how far I can take it. How much before I break down.
Recently, Jake and I were talking about a success in his family. It was a situation that had done a 180 from the previous year. Last time, we’d wallowed on the sorrow and misfortune for quite some time and the spirits were very low. I was telling Jake that it’s only fair that, this time “We should celebrate.”
I said, “I think life should be all about under-emphasizing failures and over-celebrating successes.”
After the words came out of my mouth, I was surprised at how rarely I listen to my own advice. It’s crucial to learn from your mistakes but wallowing in them only makes you depressed. And it’s important to celebrate the good moments in life. It’s necessary to note having reached a goal. Otherwise, all the work I’ve done to get here doesn’t seem so difficult. Yet it is. Each tiny step that gets one closer to happiness or self-satisfaction is a major accomplishment and requires due attention.
I’ve decided to take some of my own advice. I’ll keep setting personal goals. I’ll keep aiming higher and higher. But I’ll also stop ignoring the importance of small successes. I’m moving from only jumping a series of hurdles to throwing many parties.
And you’re invited.
Previously? Judging.
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