No More Doubt

I finally finished my August Kit projects for A Million Memories. I wanted
to concentrate more on journaling this month so my projects are simpler
and more about the sentiments, thoughts, and feelings I want to remember.

Before you came along, I wasn’t sure if I wanted children.

Well, that’s not true. I knew I wanted kids, I just wasn’t sure I was
ready for them. I kept worrying about how much I didn’t know and how
likely it was that I would end up messing you up. Causing you sorrow or
frustration. Or even worse. Life long problems.

I kept doubting myself. I kept seeing friends whose parents messed them
up. I kept worrying and wondering and postponing.

And then, one day, I was talking to your uncle Clark and I told him
about my worries and he said, “Isn’t it better that a kid has a mom
who’s paying attention to those things? Chances are your kid will be
better off because you care.” And I totally agreed. I guess half the
game is just trying to do right. As much as possible.

And then you came along.

The most perfect, wonderful, kind, generous boy. The sweetest thing
ever. And I realized I was bound to mess it up but that it was ok.
Because there will be no single moment in my life when I don’t love you
more than anything else. No moment when I won’t be giving all I have. Ever.

Ever.

And I wondered why I waited so long.

You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I just look at
your sweet face and thank my lucky starts.

And I thank uncle Clark.