How I shone this week: Well, I did my best to make sure my kids and my wonderful husband had wonderful Christmas. I rested a lot. I spent a lot of time sitting with my kids and doing work. I also took care of Nathaniel who has been sick and I was also sick myself. I don’t think any of these count as fully shining but that’s all I got this week I’m afraid. 

Things I wanted to get Done: I had no plans for this week. I just wanted to rest. Mostly, however, I got sick. I woke up Christmas morning, feeling not my best self. Nathaniel was also sick and later made David sick as well, so by midweek, all three of us were needing tissues by us pretty much the whole time. Jake thankfully managed to escape it by mostly being at work. We were thinking we might go away for a few days but Nathaniel’s cold left him with a painful present where his calves are in severe pain so he can’t really walk. Which means we can’t really go anywhere. 

I celebrate: feeling a tiny bit better. 

I am grateful for: these empty days, even though they do fill me with ennui, I am also grateful to slow down 

I nourished myself by: not much more than last week. i’ve not been eating well. while it’s not super poor, it’s not nourishing. i have been reading a lot and really loving the rest puzzles seem to bring me.

Reflecting on my worries:  i got a lot done so i don’t think it’s fair to torture myself. however i wasn’t worried about any of us getting sick and three of us did. i need to remember that few of the things i worry about happens and many of the things i don’t worry about do happen. life is unpredictable and worrying doesn’t help deter anything. i have to focus on living my life the best way i know how and have faith that i can handle whatever comes my way. and that i have the love and support of people when i need it. 

I let go of:  exercise. i didn’t exercise all week. i’ve been feeling unwell and i’ve been too tried. both of those are excuses and i know but I just let it go for this week.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): this week, too, has been about resting and being with my peeps.

What made me laugh this week: my wonderful family of course.

What I tolerated this week: myself. i’ve been so whiny. work starts in a few days and i think i am both antsy to go back and feel i need oodles more time. I keep wavering between the two.

My mood this week was: sick.
I forgive myself for:  being me. i have so many expectations out of myself. i judge myself off of a standard I am unlikely to ever meet. I’m just going to have to let it all go. 
What I love right now: I’m loving getting to do so much work with both my kids. I am super proud of all the math they both know. Nathaniel who is eight can factor quadratic equations and David’s doing some hard-core Calculus at twelve. They are showing up, they are doing the hard work, and I am super-proud of them. Both my kids worked hard during this vacation. (They also played a lot so don’t worry.)

So here we are. We get to say goodbye to this year in just a few days. (I’m typing this on Friday.) This has been a tough year in the world. There have been so many natural disasters, so much terrorism, and a lot of worrying trends and changes. From that perspective, I am grateful to get to say good-bye to 2017 and really hope that 2018 will be better. On a personal note, 2017 was kind to me. All four of us were mostly healthy and have had a lot of wonderful surprises and successes this year. We’ve had setbacks, too, of course, but net-net I’d say it was a positive year. I am hoping that we all push a little harder, stretch a little bit more, and find new boundaries for ourselves in 2018. I hope we go on adventures. I hope we laugh a lot. I hope we hug a lot. I hope we treat each other kinder than necessary. I hope I get to have many experiences that feel fresh, magical, lighter, and true. And most of all, I hope 2018 leaves all of us stronger than before not because we have to but because we choose to. 

Thank you 2017. I know it’s a privilege to be alive. I am grateful for all your gifts and challenges. If you read here, even occasionally, thank you for your support and I hope you leave a comment and say hi. Here’s to a wonderful 2018 for all of us! 

How I shone this week: This week I shone at work by helping planning come together for all of my organization and closing many of the loops that needed to be closed. I am officially out starting this week hopefully. I also supported my kids by doing work with them and going to David’s culmination. I showed up for my friend Leslie. It was a good week.

Things I wanted to get Done:

• Work: planning done! (for now). emails done, posters done. matching still underway.
• Personal: exercised four times, did conway, didn’t quit coffee, ate so so. did december daily and most of advent of light. scrapped.
• Family: did math, python and calc. Took photos. did shopping round three. went to D’s culmination and Google party. made no plans though.

I celebrate: a good, solid week.

I am grateful for:  a fun holiday party.

I nourished myself by: not super much this week. 

Reflecting on my worries:  exercised but didn’t eat great. planning is mostly done. i will hopefully have the two weeks off. tried not to disappoint anyone.

I let go of: anything being perfect. perfection is a myth.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): 

• bold: bold with moving planning forward this week.
• mindful: mindful that the next two weeks can be really hard if we let it be. 
• nourish: i need to do some strong push here.
• love: i love the holiday season, slowing down!

What made me laugh this week: lovely laughter at holiday party with Jake.

What I tolerated this week: a lot of chaos around planning and two interviews. 

My mood this week was: driven.
I forgive myself for:  feeling exhausted. i need rest.
What I love right now: that i am finally finally taking some time off!

Here’s to a great week 51. We’re so close to the end of 2017.

How I shone this week: I spent this week in Sydney, Australia. I showed up for my work by working 7am or 6:30am every day while there, doing meetings in multiple time zones. I socialized with my workmates almost every night. I also showed up for myself by exercising two of the four days I was there. I worked hard, but still setup a playdate for my son, talked to my family daily and tried to support all of them. 

Things I wanted to get Done:

• Work: planning iteration 3 is underway and going well.
• Personal: exercised 3 times, once at home, twice at hotel. not perfect but tried. ate so so tbh. didn’t do round 2 of 2018 but did a lot of journaling on the plane. more on this later. scrapped.
• Family: talked to kids daily and took photos!

I celebrate: a solid trip and December is here!!

I am grateful for:  having a job i love and getting to go to Sydney which i also love.

I nourished myself by: journaling. 

Reflecting on my worries:  I exercised too little. I ate mostly poorly. trip was worthwhile but i didn’t spend enough time with the team there. i missed my kids and i got of course not as much as i wanted done. i didn’t have terrible jetlag but mostly cause i drank a thousand coffees a day.

I let go of: spending quality time with the local engineers.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): 

• bold: bold getting through the planning
• mindful: mindful that i am feeling really worn out and need to rest 
• nourish: i would like to  replace eating poorly with journaling 🙂
• love: i love being back home

What made me laugh this week: work friends

What I tolerated this week: two 15-hour flights in one week. 

My mood this week was: work-focused.
I forgive myself for:  missing home too much this week
What I love right now: december baby! love love love this season

Here’s to a great week 49. Let the December festivities begin!

How I shone this week:  I could lie and say that this past week was better than the last, but honestly I am not sure that it was. My days have been going really fast and without a lot of awareness. Within each day, I am trying to make sure to do the things that matter the most for that day. I make sure to exercise, I make sure to work hard, I make sure to spend time with my kids and my husband, I read, etc. but when I put all the days together, I am not sure that they are adding up to the week I want to have. Or maybe they are and I am overthinking it. I don’t know to be honest. On Thursday this week, it poured here all day. It’s pretty atypical for that much and that kind of rain to go all day here. By early afternoon, I really didn’t want to go to the meeting at the kids’ school that I had said I would go to. But this was for Nathaniel and I feel he’s already getting the shorter end of the stick in general, so I went. I drove in the dark, in rain, in heavy traffic to get to the school early and of course in the end I was really really glad I went. I think that and the time I made sure to make for Jake this week were my shiniest moments of the week.

Things I wanted to get Done:

• Work: this was an emotionally tough week but not for me. well also for me, but not about me. we made some progress at work but not as much as I would have liked. 
• Personal: exercised, scrapped, ate soso, a bunch of journaling around 2018
• Family: did Calc with David and Python and Math with Nathaniel. Went to SWI night and took photos!

I celebrate: getting a little extra social time this week.

I am grateful for: my kids’ school providing so much to them and to me.

I nourished myself by: spending extra time with friends and enjoying the company

Reflecting on my worries:  I exercised. the eating issue still bothers me not even because i am eating badly, I am not eating that poorly. What bothers me has been the lack of nutrition. I did make plans for 2018 a bit so I feel better there. My energy seems to be waxing and waning. it will all be ok.

I let go of: trying to make everyone happy. i can’t do it.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): 

• bold: bold with doing what needs to be done lately.
• mindful: mindful that i am a lot more tired than i’ve been, i think it probably does have to do with food.
• nourish: i am trying to see what more nourishment I can add here, so that i feel more energized
• love: i love that my nephew is coming this week!

What made me laugh this week: my friends, a good week.

What I tolerated this week: emotionally taxing week trying to support my colleagues.

My mood this week was: hanging in there.
I forgive myself for:  trying to just make it by. 
What I love right now: that I am still exercising!

Here’s to a great week 47. So few weeks left in this year!!

How I shone this week:  This was a good week but also another crazy one. A lot of leadership was away at an event so I had more free time than usual this week but my parents were in town so I gave all of my free time to them. I also volunteered at my kids’ school on Friday all night. I am now a little sick and really, really spent. I am trying to shine but I am not sure I have it in me to do anything but rest for a bit.

Things I wanted to get Done:

• Work: cleared a bunch of email but not fully caught up. no survey, no posters, yet. didn’t write or brainstorm enough. i will have to catch up this week assuming i don’t get sicker.
• Personal: exercised, scrapped, ate soso, zero journaling, didn’t start DD yet either 🙁
• Family: spent time with family, but did no math, no project planning, nothing. boo. did take photos.

I celebrate: i got promoted this week so I am going to go ahead and celebrate that.

I am grateful for: getting to spend so much time with my parents.

I nourished myself by: not much this week unfortunately.

Reflecting on my worries:  I exercised. i ate not great, but not awful. i did let some people down but came through for others. trying to get it right more often than not. fail sometimes. 

I let go of: getting work done this week. 

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): 

• bold: i had a lot of bold conversations for my kids’ school this week.
• mindful: mindful that i need sleep and rest so i don’t get sicker
• nourish: i need to forcefully go back to my healthy eating
• love: i love my family so much!

What made me laugh this week: Nathaniel, Kelly, my husband. Love them all so.

What I tolerated this week: being semi-sick all weekend.

My mood this week was: rushed.
I forgive myself for:  not getting it all right. i just can’t ever seem to.
What I love right now: i love that my parents are here!!

Here’s to a great week 44.

How I shone this week:  I think this week was a little better than the last few weeks. Monday was a tough day for me, Tuesday was better but then David fell at school and has been in so much pain. I’ve tried to be gracious, hardworking, and grateful all week. But I feel I am at another juncture where I need to step back and re-jiggle my schedule and life a bit and can’t seem to find the time to do it. I will be away on a business trip next week so that could give me some time or it could end up being even busier than usual. If I get lucky, I plan to use some of that time to design my schedule better. 

Things I wanted to get Done:

• Work: wasn’t great about email this week but I cleaned it up all on Friday so I’ll call this a win. Did the deck and plan and email. Doing the posters. Evaluating results and booked SYD totally. Haven’t made plan for life in SEA fully but I did send a blender to my hotel so I am determined to make things work. I also plan to go to the gym every morning. Here’s to hoping it is so. 
• Personal: exercised 5 times, didn’t eat much better (but not poorly), journaled twice, did mapmaker 11, and started brene’s art. came up with a plan for november, didn’t do donations or taxes, did do the scrapping system.
• Family: did math with N but not spelling. Did not finish plan for D though came up with another plan too. Went to third grade coffee. Checked in with my family often. Took photos and will make lunches on Saturday.

I celebrate: new beginnings.

I am grateful for: I am feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude this week. for all aspects of my life. deeply thankful. my kids, my husband, my manager, my parents, my sister, my nephews, my friends, i am just all around full of gratitude.

I nourished myself by: some solid connection with friends this week.

Reflecting on my worries:  I exercised. i ate okay. i am not super behind, catching up. david was okay. i’m trying to give more attention to nathaniel. not totally bad news. i’ve been okay but the disconnected feeling is still there. i plan to work on it more.

I let go of: looking good to others and focused on doing what’s right for me.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love):

• bold: taking a new exercise class on tuesday when my usual plan was canceled.
• mindful: mindful that i need to step back and plan my life
• nourish: i need more sleep.
• love: i love the gratitude i am feeling lately.

What made me laugh this week: My friend Tamara and I laughed so much.

What I tolerated this week: still rushing a bit too much between school and work.

My mood this week was: grateful.
I forgive myself for:  being sad on Monday.
What I love right now: i love that i took an impromptu walk with my neighbor and her friend on Tuesday night. go me.

Here’s to a great week 42. We’re down to 10 weeks until it’s the end of this year!