I made this layout as part of a member lift at A Million Memories. You can see the original layout and the other design team lifts in the blog

Journaling Reads:
Dear little boy. In three days you will be four months old. The last few months have been wonderful, exhilarating, and tiring. In the last few weeks you’ve been more demanding than usual and you are really unhappy if we’re not holding you all the time. You’ve also gotten used to falling asleep when nursing and refuse to sleep any other way. This has started to take its toll on me and I am feeling more and more worn out.

When I found out that I would start working in four weeks, I decided it was time for us to work on our sleep behavior.

For the last two days, I’ve been spending every waking moment with you. I’ve been watching the clock and the signs to see when you start fussing so that I can put you down immediately. I have been leaning into the crib to give you kisses, hugs, and love. I have been rocking you. Whispering to you. I have been talking, praying, crying.

I love you so much, Nathaniel. I know that you can do this and I know that this is the right next step for both of us. For all of us. David’s been patiently watching both of us as we struggle through this and he’s been playing on his own, being quiet when asked to, and hugging you every moment you’re awake. It’s wonderful to be so loved especially as we strive to find our peace.

Even though you’re not alone for a moment, this process is really rough on me. It hurts me physically with my aching back and splitting headaches. It hurts me psychologically to have to separate this bond between us a little bit. And it hurts me emotionally to see you shed even the tiniest of tears.

But I know that this is the right next step for us. We both need sleep. When we’re rested, we both feel happier and we can bond much more deeply. I have faith in us, my boy, I know we can do this. I love you with all my heart. - August 2009