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Weblog Thoughts - Part I

I've been thinking a lot about personal sites lately. Journals, photo journals, and blogs.

There are certain pages I've been reading for over three years and cases where when I discovered a site I liked, I've read archives that go back multiple years. Over the course of all this reading, I've stitched together bits and pieces of information and formed an image of this person I never met and might never meet.

The interesting, and a bit scary, part is that I have an emotional attachment to these people I never met. I feel like since they give me a sneak peek into their thoughts, their lives, their days, I form some sort of a connection with them. It's a commitment to check someone's page daily and read all about it even though you don't even know the sound of this person's voice.

Most personal pages are one-sided conversations, even the ones that allow you to comment. The comments open up the page to a bit of a community feature and allow you to tell the writer your opinions on a subject matter that's being explored or a sentiment that was expressed. However, most of the time, the site owner doesn't then end up having two-way conversations about the issue. The comment posters leave their two cents and the comments become a collection of other people's opinions on the same subject. I don't mean to imply that it's not interesting or valuable to read other people's comments on an issue I find interesting. I am always thrilled when I see a comment on my site and eager to read the reader's opinion, thoughts, or feelings. I am trying to point out that comments feature doesn't necessarily bring you closer to knowing the person behind the web site.

The drawback of consistently reading a web site is that I genuinely feel like I know the person who's writing those words. I feel like I relate to him. I feel like I can read her thoughts. The fact is I don't and I can't. The person who posts is picking and choosing his or her posts. Many days , the person is choosing not to post. When reading a personal side, I get to see only one side of the poster: the side he or she chooses to show.

I think that's why it feels like such a let down when a person decides to take a break and not post. Suddenly, the door that I had to this person's life is shut and I am faced with the reality that I don't know the poster at all. I don't mean anything to this person. They have real friends. Real people with whom they spend their time.

I always get disappointed when I send an email to someone whose site inspired me or with whom I wanted to share something that I thought he or she might like and I don't hear back from the person. It's not because I feel I have a certain right or that my email was really important. It's mostly because these people put stuff up on the web and want people to read it. And then when people read it and want to share back, I feel it's rude to ignore them. Those are the people for whom you're writing. Honestly, if you're just writing for your five friends, there's no reason to put it up on the web, and there are few cases where people just want a site for their circle of friends and don't care if anyone else reads it or not. Most people, however, prefer to have readership.

It's like a writer who publishes a book but doesn't ever want to receive letters from his readers. Remember when you were young and someone inspired you? Imagine if you actually had the guts to write to that person? How many days did you stand by the mailbox, hoping they wrote back to you? How many days till you became bitter and cynical?

We all have people we admire for a plethora of reasons. We all, sometimes, feel the need to make a connection. I think the least a person could do is acknowledge that need and thank the person for finding something in him or her to be inspired about. (yes, I am ending with a preposition, so there.) You never know, the few words you write back thoughtlessly, might make that person's day.

Ps: For those of you wondering, no this isn't an angry response to a recent occurrence. It's just my way of hoping we can make the world a little bit less cynical, one day at a time.

January 22, 2004 | previous | web & weblog | share[]
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