They Don't Owe You Shit
I am sick and tired of reading/hearing how parents feel like their kids owe them things. I understand that different people have differing points of view and all are valid. Well, this is my space so here goes nothing. Kids don't ask to be created. Having a baby is something people decide to do (or accidentally fall into in some cases but we're going to ignore those cases for today's point) and people try to set up their lives as much as possible to accommodate this new being.

Having a baby is hard work, bringing it up is even harder. I am only at the very beginning of it and I can already admit it's very very hard at times. And he hasn't even come close to being a teenager yet. By no means, do I feel the need to belittle the amount of work, emotion, money, and sacrifice that goes into raising a human being. However, I feel like parents lose sight of the fact that this was completely their own decision. You had this baby because you wanted to. You fed and clothed and educated him/her because it was your obligation as a parent since this being that you decided to bring into this world would be helpless without you. Since you chose to create this person, I believe it's your responsibility and duty to see it all the way through. Then, if the now grownup decides to "pay you back" by taking care of you and wanting to be with you, that's great. But I don't feel like that's the kid's duty. I feel like it's my duty as a parent to raise my child such that he can learn to take care of himself and be the kind of parent that he'll want to be around.

I remember reading Khalil Gibran's words many years ago:

I know many parents wish the best for their kids and tell themselves that all the things they don't allow them to do or tell them to do are for the kid's best interest. But the desire to control one's children seems too enticing. It seems so overwhelming that everyone does it. Even when the kid has kids of his/her own. The parents still have expectations and still try not to let go.

My hope is that my Type A personality will understand that David (and any more children I may one day have) has a mind, body, and soul of his own. He doesn't owe me anything and I am lucky for all the years that I do get to spend with him and lucky that I got to be his mother, got to hug him and kiss him for as long as he let me. I hope that I can be the kind of mother he'll want to visit and telephone over the years and the kind of mother that will gladly babysit his children. I hope I will have the strength to let him be whomever he chooses to be while still being able to protect him from making severe mistakes.