The New School Drama School has a very popular program called Inside the Actor's Studio. Yesterday's show was a rerun with the guest as Kevin Spacey.

During the last ten minutes of the show the audience, students, are given ten minutes to ask the guest questions. One of the students asked Kevin what he recommended the students do as they launch into their acting career. He said something along the lines of "what advice do you have for us for the road while we work to reach the prize." Okay, so I don't remember the exact words, but trust me they were something like that. The question doesn't matter, anyway, the answer does.

Kevin Spacey said, "There is no prize." He went on to say many more pithy words that I can not recall. But the first sentence stayed with me.

I spent the last decade of my life trying to reach a prize. A collection of prizes. Getting into college in the United States, graduating with two degrees, securing a job, and my green card. I had so many goals and plans that my friends thought it was impossible to reach them all. But I did. I kept thinking that I had no other choice.

I've read and repeated many of those "don't worry about the past or future but concentrate on today" quotes. I know that the past is past and the future is anyone's guess. But still. I couldn't stop making plans. Until a year ago, I worried that unless I thought about my future, it would never happen. All I needed to do was keep my eyes on the prize and I was sure to earn it.

And I did. I earned them all. I got to come here, I graduated with honors, I got my green card, I even got to work part time when I decided I wanted more than a job. I found myself, at twenty-six, without a prize to work towards. I had collected all the so-called prizes and there weren't any more. None that I cared to have, at least.

It took me more than a decade to realize the four little words Kevin used. Life is not about prizes. Each day is a prize. Each smile, each hug, each touch, each sunrise and sunset. I know it sounds cheesy, but it really is true. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my accomplishments. I consider my degrees and my green card to be major prizes, but I also recognize that they don't fulfill you in the way you think they will. A green card doesn't suddenly make you stop worrying. It only makes you stop worrying about getting a green card. There is no ultimate prize that makes everything perfect.

My friend Eric's favorite quote was, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making plans." I'm a planner, it's not possible for me to stop it, but it is possible for me to not create mock prizes. It is possible for me to recognize the value of little daily things. It is possible for me to appreciate the journey. To start paying attention.

And I intend to.

Previously? Safe.