Rocks
No matter where we end up settling down for good, I will never forget these jagged rocks of the Pacific Coast Highway. They are so distinctive and so very beautiful. Oh and The Summerset Review used one of my photos from last year for a story. I couldn't believe how perfect a match the photo was for the story.

Resolutions 2006
I've been putting off posting because I am struggling with what resolutions to create for 2006. Normally, I pick the typical stuff like losing weight, quitting Diet Coke, eating better, exercising more, writing more, reading more, etc. Last year, I knew better than to assume I would have any control on how my year was going to go and I am still quite confident that next year is also going to be as unpredictable and "not under my control" as this year. However, for the sake of having some goals, I'd like to set some resolutions anyway. These are a bit more atypical but quite important.

My main goal for this year is to be more patient and pleasant. I want to be kinder and more about others. I want to listen more closely. Most importantly I want to remember that my "list of things to do" is often crap. It's stuff that doesn't matter and such I shouldn't stress about completing it over being with my family or keeping in touch with friends. I find that I often prefer to stay at home and do my list of items over hanging out with friends or taking a walk with David.

Like other "busy" people, I have a hard time keeping up with my emails and staying in touch with my friends. I want that to change this year. Living here, I've learned the importance of good friends and I don't want to lose touch with the people who mean the most to me just because I am posting on my site or scrapbooking David's first year. These things are not worth falling out of touch with friends.

I want to work on judging myself less. It's okay if I am not the best programmer, photographer, mother, wife, or the prettiest woman. Things that make me who I am are unique and they are perfectly fine. I know this sounds like a self-help section but I really have trouble keeping track of what matters sometimes. I often worry that I will be exposed for the fake that I am and will lose my job or the clients will ask for their money back. I didn't study years of photography after all. I wasn't a CS major at school, just a simple IS one. I get frustrated with my husband at times and I don't play with my son enough. I need to lose weight. I have a huge nose and sunken eyes. These are all true. They are facts I try not to stress about but often dwell on at length. I want 2006 to be the beginning of the new me, who dwells less, appreciates more and takes action when possible and necessary.

I want to get influenced by others less often. Things that people say get to me. Someone's off-hand remark may kill my already low self-image. Someone's look can cause me to feel small. Even someone's lack of words can have a negative effect on me. I am too affected by other people's opinions of me. Or my skewed notion of their opinions of me. I take all the bad to heart and gloss over the good. I want 2006 to be the beginning of the me that realizes people are allowed to have their opinions but it doesn't mean their opinions are worth more than mine, especially when they are about me. As a friend of mine told me years ago, it's the person staring back at the mirror that counts the most. I know it sounds cheesy but, to me, it's important to remember it, so I am writing it down.

Most importantly, I want to be more open, honest, caring, and patient. I want to look, listen, digest it all. I want to take fewer photos but with more meaning. I want to read fewer books but with more substance. Do fewer things but enjoy them more. Really live. So I can be calmer and wiser. I want to be a good example for my son.

I was much happier in 2005 than I've ever been in my life. I had really hard and terrible moments but deep inside, I feel happy and content on many levels. I know that was David's present to me. And I want my present to him in 2006, to be a more grounded and confident mother.

Happy 2006 everyone, may all your dreams and wishes come true this year.

All Better
On Saturday, we took David back to the doctor. He was sort of moody and pulling on his ears a lot. I worried that maybe he had an infection on the other ear as well. Our doctor's office is closed but they work with another office so we went there and saw a brand new doctor. This doctor was wonderful and helpful and greato talk to. He looked in David's ears and said they were both completely clear and we could stop the medication. I asked him if we didn't have to take the antibiotics all the way even if he's cured and he said not in this case so I was totally thrilled. He also gave us important tips on how to get David to sleep through the night again. I am happy to say our little one puts himslef to sleep at night after a 2 minute complaining whine when I leave his room. All that crap about how he didn't know how to sit back down in the crib was buuullllshit. We liked this doctor so much that we decided to switch to him altogether. So we'll be seeing him for David's one-year checkup. Let's see if he's as great then. Yey for clean ears!