Thursday was possibly the worst and best day of the last month for me.

On the good side, I finally got a placement, which meant I knew what school and grade level I was going to be teaching in the fall. My grade level might still change (and please please cross your fingers for me that it doesn't) but my school is pretty much set.

On the bad side, we got our lease renewal contract on Thursday night. I have lived in the same apartment for the last six years and Jake's been in it with me for the last five. Each year, when the lease renewal form comes, we have weeks of agonizing conversation. They all start the same way:

He: "We really need to move."

She: "Must we? It's such a pain."

He: "We're paying way too much here and we don't even like it."

She: "Yeah, you're right but it's such a pain!!"

And from there, he gets progressively more practical whereas I get progressively whiney.

The fact is, it's a pain to look for an apartment in New York City. You have to call 900 people to see 10 apartments, 2 of which are maybe in livable conditions. I don't have the time or patience to travel all over the city to look for apartments. Especially this year cause we're also looking in the Bronx, Harlem and Brooklyn. Talk about all traveling over the place.

Assuming we get even close to finding a decent apartment, I then start having nightmares about the moving process itself. Jake and I are both packrats to the nth degree. I'm talking computers from Freshman year in college, ten years ago, or newspapers that are now three years old, or wrap of a gift a friend gave me five months ago. We have five bookcases, floor to ceiling, that are all triple-stacked in each row and we still have books piling up on our dining room table and the floor. We have every issue of Wired, and New Yorkers for the last two years.

A few years ago, I read a book on simplifying your life. It suggested putting a bunch of things you didn't use into a box and then putting the boxes away. If you didn't open the box in six months, you could throw it away since you obviously didn't need the stuff. I decided it was a good idea and filled about six boxes of stuff. The boxes are still in my closet.

I just simply cannot throw anything away. It's as if each item has a piece of my soul attached to it. talk about dramatic, eh? Well, this is why moving is giving me nightmares once again as it's time for the yearly "we should really move out of here."

This time, I agree with Jake even more so than before. I'm ready to move into a new neighborhood. With my recent salary cut, I'd love to pay less. I like the idea of shedding some of my stuff which I assume the move will force. It's like sort of starting over.

Tonight, we're going to see a place in Brooklyn. Cross your fingers for me. I want this year to be the year we didn't renew our lease.