I don't do well with obligations.

No, not the type you're supposed to do for work. I have no problem showing up for work every morning, well every morning that I am supposed to show, which for me is three days a week. I have no problem showing up to meetings. I have no problem delivering what I possibly can when I said I would.

I also don't mean school-related obligations. I complete my assignments on time. I attend each class. I listen, speak up and ask questions. Nor do I mean obligations that include paying bills, feeding the birdie, etc.

What I'm referring to are obligations of one person to another. Unwritten rules. The kind that require a person to act towards another in a manner opposing their actual feelings toward that person. The kind that makes you act, in Elaine Benes's wise words: fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.

"You really should give her a call? She's expecting it."

"We can't do that! We have obligations."

"She invited you, you really should invite her."

I don't like the idea that someone would invite me to an event out of obligation. Furthermore, I despise the idea that I should behave in a certain manner just because it's 'the right thing to do.'"

I understand that there are cases where you do things that you may not like. At work you are at times respectful towards people you might not have a ton of respect for. At a friend's house, even if you see her parents behave inappropriately, you act appropriately and don't meddle in family business. We already have a ton of obligations that we don't have control over, do we really need to fill up the rest of our life fulfilling unnecessary obligations?

I don't like the idea of calling a friend because I have to. I don't like the idea of sending a Christmas card because it's wrong not to. I don't like the idea of inviting people to my wedding cause it will appear rude if I don't. I don't like the idea of having to call or even talk to anyone I don't particularly like.

Life's too short to worry about doing everything right. It's too short to spend your energy on people you don't care about. Why do I have to waste my precious time being sweet to people I don't care about and ones who don't care about me? Why couldn't everyone just be honest to each other? Aren't there enough people to genuinely care about?

I don't mean that you should be malicious to anyone. I just don't think we should say things we don't mean. Or invite people that we'd rather not. It just doesn't seem right that I should waste my time with the fake worries. The fake hellos. The fake smiles. The fake thank yous. Where it's obvious neither party really gives a crap.

Because then it's not fair to the people I really do care about.

Previously? Growing Up.