Another year has passed and Jake and I have put another nail in the coffin of the curse of New Year's eve. No fights. A lovely night thanks to Jason, Shannon, Anil and their great friends. Only laughter at the stroke of midnight. Laughter and kisses.

It appears my only resolution for 2001 was "to be a better person, inside and out." I don't know about the inside part but I did lose 26 pounds and dye my hair blonde, which translated to my being a different person outside. Considering the fact that I've wanted to lose weight since freshman year in college, I'd say the loss of weight was an improvement. So I guess I accomplished at least 50% of my resolutions from last year. As for the inside, you'll have to take my word that I've made some progress along those lines as well. Though, I would be unfair if I didn't admit to going back on Diet Coke which started the day after September 11, even though I'd gone almost two years without it.

December has been such a whirlwind of events that I haven't had time to set resolutions for 2002. Heh, I love writing 2002. I love saying 2002. I love that it's a palindrome. Anyhow, back to my point. I'm trying to figure out what my resolutions for the coming year should be. There's the set I have each year: lose weight, quit diet coke, exercise more, finish your novel, etc. The same items I have on my list each year, and the same items that get transferred from year to year because either they never get achieved or they get temporarily achieved until I fall back the next year when they reappear on my list.

And then there's the big stuff like: let go of the past, worry less, forgive yourself, stress less, stop trying so hard, etc. Issues that are at the core of who I am, issues that are way too serious and require way more commitment than a grocery list of resolutions. These issues will only get resolved with time and the regular course of events in my life. Some might never go away, some might disappear by tomorrow morning. But none will be a resolution I can set or follow.

2002 is a rare case where I know I will have some major upcoming events that promise to change my life. I can resolve not to stress over the upcoming wedding. Or the move to a completely foreign state. I can resolve to be the best teacher I can be without taking on all the problems of inner-city education. I can resolve to not worry about learning to drive at the ripe age of 27. Not to worry about having to pack my life into little boxes and move them across the country. But the fact is, I can't make any resolutions about unknown future events, even if they're in the foreseeable future. Setting those types of resolutions is guaranteed disappointment.

A few days ago, I wrote about how humans don't change on demand. I think resolutions fall into that category. It's a time of year that simply makes you sit at your table and list out all that things you wish you were or hope you weren't. Who cares? So what if you don't exercise enough? What's the big deal about eating too much chocolate or not reading enough? In the end, if it really matters to you, you will do it or you will stop it.

Regardless of what day it is.

My resolution for 2002 is to try a little bit each day.

Previously? Looking Back.