Keep Trying
Sometimes, it's hard to keep things in perspective. I spend many hours of my day thinking about writing. About how I wish I were better at it. I read what I write and I cringe. I ask myself why I even bother to try. Why is it so important to me? Why can't I just give it up and do the things I am good at? Inevitably, I then wallow in misery and tell myself that I'm not good at anything. I can't write, I can't draw, and I can't play any instruments. I can't even code all that well. I speak seven languages, all of them half-assed. I did well at school, but what does that mean? Nothing in real life. I'm decent at many things, but I'm not great at anything. And I want to be. I really do.
I swear to myself that I will no longer try. I say that I will just read amazing books and appreciate the people who are capable of creating them. I will enjoy good movies and masterpieces of art. I don't have to be an artist to be a great person. It's okay to not have the talent to write. I have to stop the torture of putting myself out there just to get disappointed over and over again. If I don't try, I can't fail. Yes, I say, I will stop. I'm not writing anymore.
Until the next morning, when I wake up with an idea and run to the keyboard. This is the one, I fool myself, this one will be my masterpiece.
And the vicious circle begins once more.
|
