In Sickness and in Health
I am beginning to wonder if marriages that do work are rarer than those which don't. Since our wedding, last year, four of my friends got divorced or are in the process of divorcing. Another two separated. One of which was engaged and the other dating for almost seven years. Two of my friends got married and one of them got her marriage in a much better track. That ratio is six to three which is two to one.
Part of me has been encouraging my friends to see things from the other person's point of view. To try and let go of years of resentment that we love to hang on to. To give it a fair and honest chance and to assume the best of the other person. But then there's a point after which I also feel like life is too short and how hard do we work before we walk away? How much pain do we put up with? If this were a job, I would have encouraged them to walk away much sooner.
I know the answer doesn't lie within me and it's not simple. Each person is different, so is each relationship. But the pattern is becoming too common for me not to take note. I remember feeling the same anxiety right before my wedding. I kept seeing friends whose relationships weren't working out and friends who were unhappy. I worried that maybe getting married would jinx my happiness. I know it sounds stupid but the fear was there.
And now it's here again. Not as much for my relationship because I do love my husband and I know I would do everything in my power to resolve any hitches in our marriage. But I can't keep wondering: Didn't all my friends feel that way at one point, too?What happens that makes us go from that place to the bitter resentment one? To the place where the only option is to walk away and start anew?
What makes one marriage fall apart at the seams when the other stands the long term test?
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