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Girly

I'm learning to play the saxophone. When I told my dad about the classes, he said, "Are you sure you want to play that? It's not really a girly instrument. Why not the piano?"

My first reaction was to laugh. I work in an investment bank and I am a computer programmer. Neither of which are 'girly' environments.

As a child, I was quite far away from a tomboy. To the day, I have never climbed a tree. I used to sew clothes for my Barbie dolls. I spent most of my time playing with them or reading. I cried often and I was extremely shy. So I spose I was a girly girl.

And then I started school. Since I suck at history and adore math, I leaned towards the sciences and math. I went to all-girls middle and high schools, so I never knew that girls weren't supposed to be good at math. Or at being leaders.

I moved from one 'boy-field' to another. I studied computers at a college where the ratio of women to men is 1 to 7. (thankfully, that's not the case anymore) I worked at Bell Labs and then joined the investment bank. Never even paid attention to the fact that I was surrounded by men. I guess I never read the memo explaining that since I was a female, I was supposed to feel inferior. So I just kept on doing what I liked, learning as much as possible.

I pretty much suck at all the 'girly' stuff, now. I can't cook and I hate to clean. I'm pretty messy and I hate shopping for clothes. I never remember to put creams on my skin. Makeup is an effort. I have never ever thought of my wedding day. I don't even know why TV and film producers think that all women dream of their wedding day. Almost all my good friends are men.

I guess I've been lucky that no one ever made me feel less important. No one said, "You're a woman, you don't know." And at this point, I'm confident hell would break loose if they do. I may have many hang-ups but being female has never been one. No one can tell me what I can or cannot do.

So after I was done laughing, I replied, "I love you, Daddy, but I want to learn the saxophone and not the piano."

Previously? Falling Sky.


March 22, 2001 | previous | family | share[]
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