Just in case it wasn't enough that I've been on my back with severe back pain and have tingling sensations on my left leg where I also seem to be entertaining a minor loss of feeling, the powers that be decided that I should also have a cold.

It seems I have swallowed not one, but three porcupines. I am alternating between shivering and sweating. At least there's the side benefit of the weight I lose each time I make the trip between the couch and the heater.

So I did what every reasonable woman would, I dyed my hair.

I am officially blonde.

I could tell you the entire tale of how I was orange just before that, but I won't. Be thankful.

As the hairdresser dried my hair, I kept staring at the image reflecting back from the mirror. A few encounters with scissors and several hours of sitting with my head covered in aluminum and Ta Da! I'm a brand new person.

Suddenly everything seems possible. Of course I'll use the conditioner on my hair. I'll get a facial. I'll start taking care of my skin. I'll even get a manicure. I'll put make-up on every morning like a good blonde. I'll even blow-dry my hair.

Suddenly all is possible.

And, as Heather said earlier this week, I'm fine.

Really.

Previously? Chocolate.