Sunday, my mother and I went to see Sweet November. I'm not going to talk about how the trailers give away everything or about Keanu's lack of acting ability.

If you've seen the movie trailers, you know that Charlize Theron's character asks Keanu's character to live with him for one month so she can let him out of the "box" he lives in. She lives a more liberated life and wants to help him achieve the same. Charlize is lovely. People love her, she's kind, she never works (at least not during the movie) and she does whatever she feels like. As the trailers showed, Charlize's character is sick. Very sick.

Which, of course, led me to think, how come we only let go when we've got no hope of living? Maybe it is just in the movies. But when I think of my life and the people surrounding me, I can't see one example of someone who truly does what he or she wants to be doing. Most of my acquaintances work too hard, too many hours in a job they don't like.

When I tell people that I work part-time the first thing most of them say is, "Oh I wish I had that deal." But they can. Of course they can. At least most of them. But they're too scared to ask. Just like I'm too scared to go off and live on a farm.

It seems the rewards are only valuable when the risks are not so high. If I know I'm only going to live fie more years, I'd live my life totally differently. I wouldn't work so hard, I'd probably still program but mostly for myself. I'd stop trying to lose weight. I'd call my friends more often and spend more time getting to know them. I wouldn't let any criticism get to me. I would travel to Antarctica and pet the penguins. (Well, they wouldn't bite me if they knew I was going to die, would they?) I would go skydiving.

What would you do if you only had a few years left?

Previously? Blah.