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Daily Events Today was a little better than yesterday. I slept for over 12 hours and woke up rested, only to feel tired within three hours. I don't know if the computer and studying is tiring my eyes but I keep having headaches. I hope that isn't a side-effect of the Laser operation. I wrote the entire outline of my novel today. Twenty chapters of three acts each. Considering the two main characters and beginning of the story had been in my mind for several months, it was neat to see whether I could form an entire book's worth of a story out of it. I think I can. I hope I can. I really love this story and I am quite attached to these people. I want to do this one. I want to do it right. May the Muses help me out. Derek says writing a book is hard. I couldn't agree more. I did spend some chunk of time studying for my Japanese test as well. Not as much as I would have liked to, but enough to not give up on this exam, yet. I just hope my brain holds up. Self-confidence is a weird thing, everyone who lacks it thinks that she is the only one who does so. (I am tired of using the politically correct she or he thing. Since I am female, I am using she. If you're male, please adjust accordingly. Thanks.) I look at some people and feel like they must be amazingly happy. I see this person who looks stunning, has a great job, wonderful boyfriend and friends who seem to love her. I think to myself that this person must feel delighted with her life. And then I find out that she, too, doubts herself and feels insecure and my jaw drops. I wish I could find a way to cure self-doubt. It's such a crippling sensation and it seems that no one is spared. If you know the secret to how not to be insecure, please share with me. |
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