As my backache dissipates, life is becoming fun once more. Everything must be good cause I've been searching for trouble lately.

Last week, I picked a fight with Jake three days in a row. I looked for any possible excuse and tried to be overly harsh and too judgmental. Having been with me for as long as he has, Jake was kind and patient and didn't let me stupidly ruin our relationship.

A similar scenario ensued at work. I told my workmate that if people get on my nerves, I might just walk out. That maybe I'll move to San Francisco or even Turkey. Maybe drive across country. Just something drastic and different. To which my very sweet workmate responded, "Please don't quit now. Finish this project and then quit."

Obviously I don't want to quit my job or leave Jake. I have this amazing setup at work and I adore my job. And you already know how I feel about Jake. So it seems rather odd that I have this urge to ruin my life.

But I do.

Not to ruin my life, really. But to do something drastic. Something crazy. Something wildly uncharacteristic. Something that I can tell my kids about. Something I can't tell my parents about.

The thing is, I probably won't do a thing.

I never have.

Previously? Mental Trance.