http://www.karenika.com/ breaking the skin...daily photos and intermittent thoughts en-us karen Copyright 2007 http://www.karenika.com/individual/daily_photo_day_6.html

Daily Photo - Day 6
This morning when I took David to school, his teachers told me about how he loves playing with these trains and likes to make a really long one. The classroom is really dark (especially since it's cloudy outside, too) so I wasn't able to capture anything better. But I love this photo cause he's smiling and the way he's sitting is exactly how little kids sit. I am pretty proud of myself for letting imperfections go and just capturing daily life. Trust me, it's not easy for me.

I also decided I want to learn a lot more about Photoshop this year and concentrate on bettering my photography as well, something I constantly strive to do. It's good for my business but it's good for me. I love taking photos so why not be better at it?

And here's a shot from the tree which will probably start coming down today. I honestly am still not ready to take it down yet.



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Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!
Today's my mom and dad's 40th wedding anniversary. 40 years...wow! My sister came up with this amazing idea of getting them 40 roses, each with a message of why we're so thankful to them. Some are more generic like we're thankful that you taught us right from wrong and some are specific like thank you for a fantastic trip to Disneyland, etc. So I asked my sister to snap a photo for me so that I could keep the memory. Here's the photo. And here are all the translated reasons (the originals are in Turkish).

For being our mom and dad
Daddy, for always being a kid with us
Mommy, for never putting up with our acting spoiled
For accepting your son-in-laws as if they were your own kids
For always giving love without expecting it in return
Daddy, for being the most fun grandfather
Mommy, for always showing us the cup's half full side
For putting us first in your life
For raising us with the right values
Daddy, for putting on unforgettable parties for us
Mommy, for teaching us to be thankful every day
For always managing to stay young at heart
Daddy, for explaining us the values of our roots
Mommy, for always putting up with us
Mommy, for teaching us not to worry about penny-accounting
Daddy, for teaching us to never hurt anyone
Daddy, for staying with us with love each time we got sick
For being the best grandmother
Mommy, for teaching us to save money
Daddy, for quitting smoking even though it was incredibly difficult for you
Daddy, for never hurting our feelings
Mommy, for your creativity and always being an example to us
Mommy, for being near us under every condition as we became mothers
Daddy, for watching movies with us for hours when we were little and translating every word
Daddy, for teaching us math with games
For always urging us to do anything we wanted in life
For always sharing every topic we were interested in
Mommy, for warning us that true friendship is rare and hard to find
Daddy, for taking the time to save our memories
For an unbelieavable and unforgettable Disney World trip
For teaching us honesty and integrity
Mommy, for teaching us the importance of standing on our own two feet
For getting remarried (to each other)
For encouraging us to learn foreign languages from a young age
For emphasizing the importance of sisterhood
For telling us family is more important than anything else
For giving us the opportunity to see different countries and meet different cultures
For your unlimited patience and understanding
For accepting both your daughters as who they each are
For reminding us the importance of love every minute of every day

We love you because for 40 years for each other, for 38 years for yona, 35 years for Karen, 15 years for Jake and Isaac, 10 years for Axel and Jeff, and 4 years for David, you were by our side for each joy and sorrow and we cannot imagine a life without you.
We love you.


Love you both madly.

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Daily Photo - Day 5
The year's finally started today. David's back to school and I am back to work. It feels good to be back in the routine but I miss him already. We still have our Christmas tree up too so I am not ready to let go of it all just yet. I gave myself one more week. Here are a few shots of David from this morning. He's been loving the lightsaber and plays with it constantly.



Love this boy.

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Daily Photo - Day 4
I know, I know, another computer screen photo with not much to see. But there's a story and a good one. Today's my grandmother Maya's 90th birthday. My whole family and her friends and loved ones are all celebrating in a restaurant in Istanbul and my wonderful sister found a way for me to be there without flying there.

At the end of their dinner, we used the wonderful iChat to connect to them live so Jake and I could wish her the best birthday. David was excited about the idea but got shy in the last minute, so he didn't come to the screen. It was really special and for a few moments I felt like I was there with them. Happy Happy Happy Birthday Omamika, to many many many more!!!

In case we couldn't make a connection I'd prerecorded a message to her and then we also made a movie the three of us. here's that movie. It's quite funny.

Just so you don't think I'm not taking photos of the little boy, here's a shot of David watching Winnie the Pooh on his little DVD player.



Happy Sunday!

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Catalyst 43 - Peace
Today's catalyst is up: Tell us about a BIG dream you want to achieve (aim high!).

My text is right from the blog entry a few days ago:
Anyone who really really knows me would know that I am not peaceful. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve always felt different and not in a good way. Like something’s wrong with me. Like I don’t belong. Like I am not good enough. And will never be.

This is not tied to any particular achievement. I’ve achieved a lot in my life. I’ve been really lucky and blessed to have a great education, fantastic career, amazing and loving husband and truly the best kid in the world. And that’s just a few of them. But this feeling of not measuring up (to something undefined) doesn’t go away. I compare to others constantly but only in ways where I feel like I am not as good. Not as intelligent. Not as pretty. Not as nice. Not as talented. I can go on and on.

So this year I decided to work on the most important concept of all (for me.) Achieving peace and blooming into my own. This is my year to discover and embrace who I am. Be the best of me and love it. Relax and not criticize myself. Not compare myself to anyone. Not worry about being not good enough. Stop and appreciate the truly amazing things in my life. Be thankful. Shed the past and be open and welcoming to the great future. But mostly be in the present.

God willing, I will have another baby this year and I want to make sure my kids have a peaceful mom who is happy with who she is (flaws and all). I want to make sure my husband has a wife who is happy. If there’s one thing I’d like to teach my kids, it’s that it’s ok to be whomever they are. And how better to teach it than by example?

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Daily Photo - Day 3
I started the day by talking to my sister over iChat. We have some special upcoming family events so there's been much organizing over the computer. I like this photo even though it's low quality because it shows the twenty things happening at the same time. Chatting with my sister, backing up David's DVDs as he sits next to me looking through them, reading my blogs, all at the same time. Not to mention the crowded couch showing my anti-nausea medication, the bills I still have to pay, and just the overall chaos of finishing off last minute chores.

This is what Project 365 is for me, capturing our daily, ordinary life for a whole year.

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Daily Photo - Day 2
Here's David dancing to Pink's "So What." His new favorite song. He rocks out while the song plays and I love watching all of his moves and the faces he makes.

Another quiet day in the household. David and I spent the morning relaxing in bed while I read a book and he watched Thomas on the DVD player. Then we read some books together on the couch and I caught up on my email and blogs. I have bit of a list of chores to do today like getting groceries and doing laundry and cleaning up my scrap space which has gotten completely out of control. But nothing urgent and it's nice to know that I can just take the day to relax and read and enjoy my life.

And, yes, my Christmas stuff is still up. I decided I won't take anything down until the next garbage day which is Thursday next week so I can enjoy my tree for another few days.

]]> http://www.karenika.com/individual/2009_the_year_of_peace_and_bloom.html 2009 - The year of Peace and Bloom


I can't remember when I gave up making resolutions but I have. I decided I don't want to wait until the first day of the new year to be a new me. Why not do it today?

Not that I stuck to them when I used to make them. I have realized over the years that I will never be as thin as I want to be or do as many things as I'd like to get done in a day or year. The books won't really get written, until they do. I won't learn as much, be as much, read as much, give as much as I'd like to. Until I do. And when I do, I will. The first day of the year won't change any of these facts and why tie it to something so random?

What I am trying to do instead is have more focus areas for myself each year. Sort of aligned with Ali Edwards' word of the year, I am picking themes for myself and trying to make sure I focus on it all year long so it's ingrained in who I am by the end of the year. Last year, my word was "journey." I wanted to focus on enjoying the journey that is life and not always the destination. Enjoy the little moments. Appreciate life. Stop. Breathe. Look Around. I think I achieved some of it and, of course, it will be ongoing work but I do feel it to be more a part of who I am now.

I decided on this year's word a few months ago when I was preparing a class I taught (which is when I made the calendar photographed above).

Anyone who really really knows me would know that I am not peaceful. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I've always felt different and not in a good way. Like something's wrong with me. Like I don't belong. Like I am not good enough. And will never be.

This is not tied to any particular achievement. I've achieved a lot in my life. I've been really lucky and blessed to have a great education, fantastic career, amazing and loving husband and truly the best kid in the world. And that's just a few of them. But this feeling of not measuring up (to something undefined) doesn't go away. I compare to others constantly but only in ways where I feel like I am not as good. Not as intelligent. Not as pretty. Not as nice. Not as talented. I can go on and on.

So this year I decided to work on the most important concept of all (for me.) Achieving peace and blooming into my own. This is my year to discover and embrace who I am. Be the best of me and love it. Relax and not criticize myself. Not compare myself to anyone. Not worry about being not good enough. Stop and appreciate the truly amazing things in my life. Be thankful. Shed the past and be open and welcoming to the great future. But mostly be in the present.

God willing, I will have another baby this year and I want to make sure my kids have a peaceful mom who is happy with who she is (flaws and all). I want to make sure my husband has a wife who is happy. If there's one thing I'd like to teach my kids, it's that it's ok to be whomever they are. And how better to teach it than by example?

So here we go, the year of peace and bloom.

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Daily Photo - Day 1
David's been wanting to watch Star Wars for a while but we needed to find just the right moment since it's a movie to watch with Daddy and not Mommy. So we promised him that on New Year's Day, he could watch the movie with Daddy. He's been talking about it nonstop for days.

So this morning they put it on and watched half of it. And then we met friends for breakfast in San Fran, came home, took naps, recorded a quick video for my grandmother's upcoming 90th birthday, and then they sat down to watch the rest of it while I did some art.

All in all, the best way to start the new year.

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2009 Projects - Project 2 - A Year of Photos
Here's the second project of 2009 for me. I was one of the lucky people to get one of Becky Higgins' Kits of the Month called Project 365. It's organized such that when you have an open spread you see a full week's worth of journaling and photos. Since I have a new baby coming in a few months, I thought it wouldn't be fair to do another Daily David and there was no way I could commit to two photos a day (I'll be lucky if I can keep up one a day.)

So I like this idea of a photo of a day with a little story each day. Sometimes it will be just David. Sometimes me, sometimes Jake. Sometimes all of us. Sometimes about the new baby. Sometimes about some other bit of life. I have a feeling it will end up quite wonderful.

I am hoping I can keep up with it and I feel optimistic. Like last year, I'll post the photos here, too so it can keep me honest and my family and friends can watch along.

]]> http://www.karenika.com/individual/good_bye_2008.html Good-bye 2008
Looking back, this has appeared to be an uneventful year. At least compared to what's coming in 2009. But, I think this was the year that set the groundwork for a great 2009. Jake getting a job, my getting pregnant, and David being fully in school is each a promise for an interesting, exciting new year that will take our little family to the next level.

I am excited about 2009. Worried, too, of course, as it's my style. But mostly excited. For now, I am happy to say good-bye to a great year. Tomorrow, we'll say hello to the new one.

I hope you and your loved ones have a fantastic New Year's Eve. We're planning a quiet one over here, filled with Turkish food, cuddles, and great TV.

Happy Happy New Year!

]]> http://www.karenika.com/individual/december_daily_day_31.html

December Daily - Day 31
Good-bye 2008. Hello 2009. My word: bloom.


and a look at the finished book.


here's the full book. This has been the best December of my life.

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December Daily - Day 30
A quiet day, getting ready for the end of the holiday season.




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Daily David - Day 366
Every single day. One whole year. And a leap year at that. This has been pure pleasure and I will find a way to continue it in 2009.




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Daily David - Day 365
Almost there. I am quite sad to see this end.




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